Bush orders copies of Constitution removed

A Presidential Directive to remove all copies of the Constitution from both the White House and the offices of members of Congress was made public today by Faux News. The President stated that the document is out-dated and sounds like something a 60's commune of hippies would have written, not a sovereign nation like the US.

"The Constitution is for wimps," the President declared, "and I am no wimp. Do you think Al Gore or John Kerry would have had the guts to do something like this? It takes a REAL leader to make a decision such as this one."

"Did you know that the framers of the constitution powdered their hair and wore it in pony tails? You call people like that men? I call them bleeping, wierdo liberals whose agenda was to turn the US into a Commie nation. Well, the bastards failed, because for once, a US President has stood up to them."

"All members of Congress who fail to meet the requirements of this directive will be considered unlawful alien combatants and will be spending a vacation of undetermined length in Cuba."

"Oh, yeah. Monday, we will be invading Iran. Any reporter who askes me a question about any of this will be turned into Homeland Security for the safety of our country. Those who wish may now kiss my ring."






- Faux News, October 7, 2006

[xoxoxoBruce]

You should make it clear that this is a piece of humor.







Can't tell by just reading it.

[ashke]

"Faux News" gives a clue...

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

You should make it clear that this is a piece of humor.




can't tell by just reading it.

Sorry about that. I still can't believe all the stuff that's going on. But not to worry, in another 6 months it will be REAL news. You just heard it here first.

[MaggieL]

Originally Posted by ashke

"Faux News" gives a clue...

It would be a better clue if so many liberals didn't use "Faux News" as a moniker for Fox News. (Obviously if it doesn't have the same relentless liberal slant of MSNBC and CNN it must be "faux".)

[jinx]

Originally Posted by MaggieL

(Obviously if it doesn't have the same relentless liberal slant of MSNBC and CNN it must be "faux".)

No, it's "faux" becuase they make shit up - and have gone to court at least 6 times to protect their right to do so.

[MaggieL]

Originally Posted by jinx

No, it's "faux" becuase they make shit up ...

Citations, please?

[ashke]

Originally Posted by MaggieL

It would be a better clue if so many liberals didn't use "Faux News" as a moniker for Fox News. (Obviously if it doesn't have the same relentless liberal slant of MSNBC and CNN it must be "faux".)

Oh... They do that? Hmmm... Okay, I didn't know. (In the other post where "Faux News" was mentioned in the title, I thought that was just a fitting title for that Foley mess. ^^;;; Didn't realize its use of was widespread amongst liberals.)

[jinx]

Originally Posted by MaggieL

Citations, please?

Google: Fox rBGH, and choose your favorite source.

[xoxoxoBruce]

ok jinx, I did that.

"We Paid $3 Billion For These Stations. We'll Decide What the News Is."

[Undertoad]

That story/lawsuit has nothing to do with the Fox News Channel. It's about the news department at a Florida Fox TV network affiliate.

[xoxoxoBruce]

But aren't the affiliates where Fox gets fed it's stories from? At least the in country stuff, not the international.

[jinx]

Nothing?

According to the suit, WTVT originally reviewed the investigative reports and scheduled them to air in four parts beginning February 24, 1997 and had even launched an extensive radio ad campaign to draw attention to the series. But virtually on the eve of the broadcast, the station pulled the reports after Monsanto hired a renowned New York attorney to complain to a top official of Channel 13’s parent company, Fox television. The attorney’s letter was filed with the complaint which is now posted at the web site.


Local station management again carefully reviewed the investigative reports, found no errors in any of the reporting, re-scheduled them to air a week later, and even offered Monsanto the opportunity to be interviewed a second time, the suit says. Instead, the chemical maker responded with another threatening letter to the President of Fox’s network news division and the WTVT reports were postponed again.

Watch on YouTube.

[jinx]

FOX appealed the case, and on February 14, 2003 the Florida Second District Court of Appeals unanimously overturned the settlement awarded to Akre. The Court held that Akre’s threat to report the station’s actions to the FCC did not deserve protection under Florida’s whistle blower statute, because Florida’s whistle blower law states that an employer must violate an adopted “law, rule, or regulation." In a stunningly narrow interpretation of FCC rules, the Florida Appeals court claimed that the FCC policy against falsification of the news does not rise to the level of a "law, rule, or regulation," it was simply a "policy." Therefore, it is up to the station whether or not it wants to report honestly.


During their appeal, FOX asserted that there are no written rules against distorting news in the media. They argued that, under the First Amendment, broadcasters have the right to lie or deliberately distort news reports on public airwaves. Fox attorneys did not dispute Akre’s claim that they pressured her to broadcast a false story, they simply maintained that it was their right to do so.

[Undertoad]

So, not the Fox News Channel.

glad we cleared that up