need advice please on step daughter who is stealing

[puresoulexpression]

Hi I am puresoulexpression,
Thank you for taking the time to read this in advance. I am writng in regards to advice that i would love to have. My 15 year old step-daughter is living with my husband and i . Her mother has had her living in her home for the majority of her life but now this is the second time in three years that she is living with us. She has had a lot going ton this time since she moved in. Oh by the way I have an 8 year old daughter with someone else and my hisband and i have a three year old together and I have one other step- daughter who is 18. the two girls 15 and 18 are sisters with same mother and my husband is there father. Any how the 15 year old has started taking my husband and my debit /credit cards for awhile now 10,20,30 here and there. Of course she does this when we have not been looking and we actually have not caught her. But with all of the investigating and putiing the pieces together we know she is doing this. In the past shed to take the familys things but i was never able to say anything my husband wanted 7to handle it which i undeerstand. But nothing was ever really done about it and now she is taking our money. We have not confronted her about this yet but i hope that my husband will want to do this soon.I really am getting tired of this bull . my husbands job is demanding so i am the one doing everything for the kids. doctors appts,friends,going to school, giving them money,taking them to extra curricular things. i am home when friends are here so i am ticked. she also has had some issues maybe with depression. so things are getting overwhelming. any advice i would love it. thanks pure

[Gamegirl]

Hide the cards?
Gee, shouldn't that be simple enough?

[Beestie]

...and thank you, Lord, for the self-restraint I am about to exercise. Amen.

[Hoof Hearted]

When my sister was in HS and I was in Jr College, she began taking Mother's ATM card and reduced on of Mom's $4000 savings accounts to ZERO. Mom went to the bank, told them what was going on and they produced VIDEO of my sister using the card to take the money out.

We eventually got Sis out of the situation she was in, into counseling and drug rehab. She is a success story. She went on to college and got her AA and BA and went on to a management job earning $80k/year. It can be done, but it takes a lot of steel in your spine to do it AND the child has to want to better themselves...

I would go to your bank, advise them of the situation and ask for visual proof. Then show it to the girl and threaten her with theft and jail (or juvie). If Dad doesn't want to go this route...well, I don't know what to advise to get the consequenses through to this child.
hh

[wolf]

Step one: Go change the PINs on all of the cards, even ones you think she doesn't have the PIN for.

Step two: Total up what's she's taken so far.

Step three: Draw a line in the sand. Let her know that's she's busted, and that the next time busting will involve actual police. Do not back down from this once the announcement has been made.

Step four: Develop a plan on exactly how she is going to reimburse you and her father for the losses totalled up in Step two. If reimbursement involves her doing work around the house, make the boundaries clear to her and establish an hourly rate for her service. Make performance benchmarks clear, letting her know that she will not receive credit for a half-assed job at anything. If you prefer, establish a rate for particular tasks you assign her, for example, $10 for washing down the kitchen floor, $1 for watching the dog take a dump in the back yard and letting it back in the house. If you know of any purchases she made with the cards, rather than ATM withdrawals, make her go with you or her dad to return the items.

Step five: Get her to counselling. It is likely there is more than just stealing going on here.

Your husband must be 100% on board with this plan to get it to work.