Poop

bluecuracao · 12-29-2006, 11:41 PM

Let me apologize for this ahead of time. This is supremely disgusting.

Monkeyboy has a store in Old City, which is not only known as the historic district of Philadelphia, but also Party Central, having 100+ bars within a few square blocks. So, it's to be expected that at a certain time of the evening, many of his customers are, well, pretty likker'd up.

And of course it happens every so often that one of his toasty customers is in dire need of restroom facilities. Which, being the kind soul that he is, Monkeyboy is inclined to oblige them. The restroom is near the entrance, so he alway figured, no harm, no foul...

Until tonight, that is.

A few minutes ago, I was notified that we'd be staying at the store after closing, because he'd opened the restroom door to find a gigantic, fat turd sitting on the seat of the toilet. Apparently, one of his better-known customers was a lot drunker than he appeared, and missed.

On the upside, I guess it was good that the guy didn't miss completely. That would have been worse, I think. Poor Monkeyboy is understandably traumatized at the moment, and he'll never be able to look at Poop Guy the same way again.

I have photos, but perhaps luckily for the Cellar, I can't find my USB cord at the moment. Be warned, I will post them later...I feel the best way to dissipate this horrendous event is to share!

wolf · 12-29-2006, 11:59 PM

We haven't had a good discussion of poop in a while. Well, not since busterb went for the colonoscopy ...

bluecuracao · 12-30-2006, 12:14 AM

Wolf, I imagine that people at your workplace might snicker with derision at our poop freakout.

SteveDallas · 12-30-2006, 12:16 AM

I think the real question is, are you going to send the photos to the perp?

wolf · 12-30-2006, 12:19 AM

I wonder if your pooper is the same guy who pooped in my coworker's bathtub during the (then) Core States bike race. He lives right on The Wall.

Thing is, the only people who were in his house (we have pretty good control of the front door and didn't let any strangers in) were invited guests and the Channel 6 News Crew.

bluecuracao · 12-30-2006, 12:53 AM

In the bathtub...that's really bad. Where is "The Wall?"

I tried to ask Monkeyboy if he wanted to share the photos with our pooper, but he doesn't want to talk about it. He's a little cranky right now.

wolf · 12-30-2006, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluecuracao

In the bathtub...that's really bad. Where is "The Wall?"

You've been in Philadelphia how long?

The Manayunk Wall. The bike race, first weekend in June, world class cyclists, multiple laps around the city including the street (Levering/Lyceum) with the 17% grade hill? That Wall.

CaliforniaMama · 12-30-2006, 01:20 AM

At least the guy didn't paint with it as some do . . .

A friend attended a nice, family party. Outdoors, around the pool, that sort of thing. The child that lived there told his mom he needed to go to the bathroom, so she sent him in the house. He was gone a long while and the next person to use the loo got a very big surprise. Apparently, it was even on the ceiling.

wolf · 12-30-2006, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaliforniaMama

At least the guy didn't paint with it as some do . . .

Several of my patients are fecal decorative, so I know what you mean.

Griff · 12-30-2006, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Several of my patients are fecal decorative, so I know what you mean.

We seem to have some cross over with my last gig here. Long bus ride, loose stool, need to assert creative control over environment. Breath taking sister, absolutely breath taking.

Beestie · 12-30-2006, 02:17 AM

Poop molecules can't travel over the Internet.

Can they.

They can't, right?

I mean, there's no way they could!

Is there?

bluecuracao · 12-30-2006, 02:39 AM

Only through spinach, as far as I know.

xoxoxoBruce · 12-30-2006, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

Poop molecules can't travel over the Internet.

Put a toothbrush in front of your monitor, just to be safe. Everybody knows it will attract every poop molecule within 10 feet.

wolf · 12-30-2006, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

Poop molecules can't travel over the Internet.

They got on the Mythbuster's brand-new sealed toothbrush somehow ...

jinx · 12-30-2006, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

Poop molecules can't travel over the Internet.

Can they.

You're not mocking the poop molecule, are you?

12-29-2006, 11:41 PM	#1
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Poop Let me apologize for this ahead of time. This is supremely disgusting. Monkeyboy has a store in Old City, which is not only known as the historic district of Philadelphia, but also Party Central, having 100+ bars within a few square blocks. So, it's to be expected that at a certain time of the evening, many of his customers are, well, pretty likker'd up. And of course it happens every so often that one of his toasty customers is in dire need of restroom facilities. Which, being the kind soul that he is, Monkeyboy is inclined to oblige them. The restroom is near the entrance, so he alway figured, no harm, no foul... Until tonight, that is. A few minutes ago, I was notified that we'd be staying at the store after closing, because he'd opened the restroom door to find a gigantic, fat turd sitting on the seat of the toilet. Apparently, one of his better-known customers was a lot drunker than he appeared, and missed. On the upside, I guess it was good that the guy didn't miss completely. That would have been worse, I think. Poor Monkeyboy is understandably traumatized at the moment, and he'll never be able to look at Poop Guy the same way again. I have photos, but perhaps luckily for the Cellar, I can't find my USB cord at the moment. Be warned, I will post them later...I feel the best way to dissipate this horrendous event is to share!

12-29-2006, 11:59 PM	#2
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	We haven't had a good discussion of poop in a while. Well, not since busterb went for the colonoscopy ... __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-30-2006, 12:19 AM	#5
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I wonder if your pooper is the same guy who pooped in my coworker's bathtub during the (then) Core States bike race. He lives right on The Wall. Thing is, the only people who were in his house (we have pretty good control of the front door and didn't let any strangers in) were invited guests and the Channel 6 News Crew. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-30-2006, 01:20 AM	#8
CaliforniaMama I wonder . . . Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: The Left Coast, a pretty good place to be. Posts: 1,278	At least the guy didn't paint with it as some do . . . A friend attended a nice, family party. Outdoors, around the pool, that sort of thing. The child that lived there told his mom he needed to go to the bathroom, so she sent him in the house. He was gone a long while and the next person to use the loo got a very big surprise. Apparently, it was even on the ceiling. __________________ Take time for silence. You never know what you might hear.

12-30-2006, 02:17 AM	#11
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	Poop molecules can't travel over the Internet. Can they. They can't, right? I mean, there's no way they could! Is there? __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

12-30-2006, 12:14 AM	#3
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Wolf, I imagine that people at your workplace might snicker with derision at our poop freakout.

12-30-2006, 12:16 AM	#4
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I think the real question is, are you going to send the photos to the perp?

12-30-2006, 12:53 AM	#6
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	In the bathtub...that's really bad. Where is "The Wall?" I tried to ask Monkeyboy if he wanted to share the photos with our pooper, but he doesn't want to talk about it. He's a little cranky right now.

12-30-2006, 02:39 AM	#12
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Only through spinach, as far as I know.

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