Dying from liver failure

SamIam · 10-17-2008, 09:46 AM

OK. Yesterday in another thread, I threatened to dump my woes on you all, so here goes.

About a year ago when I was new to the board, I posted about my friend who had been diagnosed with Hep C and terminal liver disease. He didn't help his situation with his heavy drinking. The poor man had tried many times to quit drinking, but never made it more than 30 days. Now it has caught up with him for what apears to be the final time. I can't count how many times I have taken him to the ER. Each time they patched him up, and he came home and was OK until next time. I took him into the ER again last Monday. He was the sickest I have ever seen him. The Doc said his liver is functioning at only 3%. My friend remains in the hospital, heavily sedated with morphine and yellow, yellow with jaundice. Maybe the doc's will pull him through one more time, but it doesn't look good. I am emotionally exhausted, and sometimes I just start crying out of nowhere.

To make matters worse (if possible) my friend's family is mostly made up of Pentecostal's, and they treat me, a non believer, like the devil, despite all I have tried to do for their father, brother, uncle.

I am going to just go stay at the hospital 24/7 for a few days until my friend's latest crisis resolves itself one way or the other, so I'll be out of touch for a while. My friend whose name is Rick could sure use a few (non Pentecostal) prayers if anyone has a few to spare.

Thanks. - Sam

xoxoxoBruce · 10-17-2008, 09:52 AM

Doing good things, from the heart, is often viewed with suspicion by people that have no heart.

Rick, and the people who matter, appreciate your love & sacrifice, Sam.

classicman · 10-17-2008, 09:52 AM

I'm very sorry to hear that. Ill think good thoughts and send prayers your/his/their way.

BigV · 10-17-2008, 09:57 AM

SamYouAre, you are to be commended for doing the right thing, despite the mistreatment from your friend's relations. Do not be discouraged by that. Simple to say, I know. But in your heart you, too, know you're doing the right thing.

I'm no doctor, and I don't have any specific knowledge about liver disease. I do have my share of first hand experience of hospitals and sick loved ones and of the agony of helplessness. I'll give Rick a few non Pentacostal prayers, but I'll still have plenty left over for you as well. You may be absent from the board but you'll be on our minds and in our hearts. Be strong.

Pie · 10-17-2008, 10:08 AM

Best wishes for you and your friend, Sam. It takes courage to do what's right, as you have demonstrated.

glatt · 10-17-2008, 10:14 AM

Hang in there, Sam. You're doing the right thing and he's fortunate to have you for a friend.

Cicero · 10-17-2008, 10:16 AM

I was dating in a family of Catholics. I was treated the same way when the boyfriend's mom was dying. Everyone was surprised, and a little more peeved when she appeared to enjoy my company. Then the issue was that she hadn't been sleeping, so I picked up a book she had brought with to the hospital, and began to read to her. She of course, fell asleep immediately. I was never invited to go to the hospital again, and I didn't.

I guess we have to try and respect people's wishes even when they are being freaks. Why people make tough situations tougher on everyone, I do not know.

Sam, I will chant some sutras for your friend. And you of course. If the lotus sutra is ok with you, it will be done.

Sundae · 10-17-2008, 10:33 AM

Sam, you can only do what you can do.
You've done the best you can for your friend, and I'm so sorry to hear it is not appreciated by the family.

Out of your friend's earshot I'd be tempted to hiss some salient facts... but it wouldn't help your friend after all. You're doing the right thing in being there for him (and you're in my thoughts for that) and also in biting your tongue. If these people get the God they believe in, come the pearly gates they will be called to account. Jesus welcomed prostitutes and tax collecters.

Actually - kick them in the cunt. If Jesus is on their side he'll stop it hurting.

SamIam · 10-17-2008, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Sam, you can only do what you can do.
You've done the best you can for your friend, and I'm so sorry to hear it is not appreciated by the family.

Out of your friend's earshot I'd be tempted to hiss some salient facts... but it wouldn't help your friend after all. You're doing the right thing in being there for him (and you're in my thoughts for that) and also in biting your tongue. If these people get the God they believe in, come the pearly gates they will be called to account. Jesus welcomed prostitutes and tax collecters.

Actually - kick them in the cunt. If Jesus is on their side he'll stop it hurting.

Oh my, Sundae Girl, thanks for a much needed laugh! I actually have thought of confronting his sister in private (she's the worst), but what's the use of having a show down with a mean, close minded fundamentalist in a situation that's already bad enough? This woman once described to me with relish how god sends babies to burn in hell for eternity. You'll be pleased to know that according to her this includes 99.9% of babies whoever have been or will be born and die in infancy, since they are not baptized Pentecostal. Oh, barf!

Cicero, send those sutra's coming. You know I'm more Buddhist than I am anything else, so your efforts will be much appreciated. And I promise that on my way out of town to the hospital today, I will check my mail. I look forward to something to cheer me up!

monster · 10-17-2008, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamIam

Cicero, send those suture's coming.

Strange request, but here goes:

SamIam · 10-17-2008, 01:07 PM

Yeah, he's gonna need some of those, too. They're operating today or tomorrow.

bluecuracao · 10-17-2008, 01:17 PM

Sam, you're a great friend to Rick, being there with him when he really needs you. Stay strong, and make sure you eat regularly and catch some naps when you can. Don't forget to bring a comfy sweatshirt with you.

And eww @ monsta!

SamIam · 10-21-2008, 10:07 AM

Update:
Thanks all! I'm back home for now. I had things I had to take care of here. Mainly, I ran out of my own meds and have had great difficulty getting them filled in the town where the hospital is. I live in an isolated, rural area of the country, and they are not very good at coordinating medical care at the small rural clinic I attend.

Anyhow, it looks bad for Rick. At best he will be in the hospital for two more weeks. They continue to treat him for major liver failure. I will go back as soon as I can.

Cicero · 10-21-2008, 10:29 AM

Yea. I have a 45 minute drive away today. It's a good thing I took notes from a good friend I had, as my mammogram will be free, as well as follow up visits. Not only is there no health care where I am, they don't have the free mammograms other cities have. They have grants for people like me. Funny being on the other end of a grant for once.

I hope you can take some comfort in just being home, in a safe place, and feel no guilt for not being right there. Taking care of yourself means you will be better able to help when you can. Rest up. That's the right thing. I am sending sutras your direction. And I'm glad you decided to "bore" us with your woes. Even if it did take a little "encouragement".

I'm sorry about Rick. I wonder if you have any high hopes regarding his condition?

limey · 10-21-2008, 02:50 PM

thinking of you and your friend, Sam

10-17-2008, 09:46 AM	#1
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Dying from liver failure OK. Yesterday in another thread, I threatened to dump my woes on you all, so here goes. About a year ago when I was new to the board, I posted about my friend who had been diagnosed with Hep C and terminal liver disease. He didn't help his situation with his heavy drinking. The poor man had tried many times to quit drinking, but never made it more than 30 days. Now it has caught up with him for what apears to be the final time. I can't count how many times I have taken him to the ER. Each time they patched him up, and he came home and was OK until next time. I took him into the ER again last Monday. He was the sickest I have ever seen him. The Doc said his liver is functioning at only 3%. My friend remains in the hospital, heavily sedated with morphine and yellow, yellow with jaundice. Maybe the doc's will pull him through one more time, but it doesn't look good. I am emotionally exhausted, and sometimes I just start crying out of nowhere. To make matters worse (if possible) my friend's family is mostly made up of Pentecostal's, and they treat me, a non believer, like the devil, despite all I have tried to do for their father, brother, uncle. I am going to just go stay at the hospital 24/7 for a few days until my friend's latest crisis resolves itself one way or the other, so I'll be out of touch for a while. My friend whose name is Rick could sure use a few (non Pentecostal) prayers if anyone has a few to spare. Thanks. - Sam

10-17-2008, 09:52 AM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Doing good things, from the heart, is often viewed with suspicion by people that have no heart. Rick, and the people who matter, appreciate your love & sacrifice, Sam. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-17-2008, 09:52 AM	#3
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	I'm very sorry to hear that. Ill think good thoughts and send prayers your/his/their way. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-17-2008, 09:57 AM	#4
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	SamYouAre, you are to be commended for doing the right thing, despite the mistreatment from your friend's relations. Do not be discouraged by that. Simple to say, I know. But in your heart you, too, know you're doing the right thing. I'm no doctor, and I don't have any specific knowledge about liver disease. I do have my share of first hand experience of hospitals and sick loved ones and of the agony of helplessness. I'll give Rick a few non Pentacostal prayers, but I'll still have plenty left over for you as well. You may be absent from the board but you'll be on our minds and in our hearts. Be strong. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-17-2008, 10:08 AM	#5
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Best wishes for you and your friend, Sam. It takes courage to do what's right, as you have demonstrated. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

10-17-2008, 10:14 AM	#6
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Hang in there, Sam. You're doing the right thing and he's fortunate to have you for a friend.

10-17-2008, 10:16 AM	#7
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	I was dating in a family of Catholics. I was treated the same way when the boyfriend's mom was dying. Everyone was surprised, and a little more peeved when she appeared to enjoy my company. Then the issue was that she hadn't been sleeping, so I picked up a book she had brought with to the hospital, and began to read to her. She of course, fell asleep immediately. I was never invited to go to the hospital again, and I didn't. I guess we have to try and respect people's wishes even when they are being freaks. Why people make tough situations tougher on everyone, I do not know. Sam, I will chant some sutras for your friend. And you of course. If the lotus sutra is ok with you, it will be done. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

10-17-2008, 10:33 AM	#8
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Sam, you can only do what you can do. You've done the best you can for your friend, and I'm so sorry to hear it is not appreciated by the family. Out of your friend's earshot I'd be tempted to hiss some salient facts... but it wouldn't help your friend after all. You're doing the right thing in being there for him (and you're in my thoughts for that) and also in biting your tongue. If these people get the God they believe in, come the pearly gates they will be called to account. Jesus welcomed prostitutes and tax collecters. Actually - kick them in the cunt. If Jesus is on their side he'll stop it hurting. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-17-2008, 01:07 PM	#11
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Yeah, he's gonna need some of those, too. They're operating today or tomorrow.

10-17-2008, 01:17 PM	#12
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Sam, you're a great friend to Rick, being there with him when he really needs you. Stay strong, and make sure you eat regularly and catch some naps when you can. Don't forget to bring a comfy sweatshirt with you. And eww @ monsta!

10-21-2008, 10:07 AM	#13
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Update: Thanks all! I'm back home for now. I had things I had to take care of here. Mainly, I ran out of my own meds and have had great difficulty getting them filled in the town where the hospital is. I live in an isolated, rural area of the country, and they are not very good at coordinating medical care at the small rural clinic I attend. Anyhow, it looks bad for Rick. At best he will be in the hospital for two more weeks. They continue to treat him for major liver failure. I will go back as soon as I can. Last edited by SamIam; 10-21-2008 at 11:24 AM.

10-21-2008, 10:29 AM	#14
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Yea. I have a 45 minute drive away today. It's a good thing I took notes from a good friend I had, as my mammogram will be free, as well as follow up visits. Not only is there no health care where I am, they don't have the free mammograms other cities have. They have grants for people like me. Funny being on the other end of a grant for once. I hope you can take some comfort in just being home, in a safe place, and feel no guilt for not being right there. Taking care of yourself means you will be better able to help when you can. Rest up. That's the right thing. I am sending sutras your direction. And I'm glad you decided to "bore" us with your woes. Even if it did take a little "encouragement". I'm sorry about Rick. I wonder if you have any high hopes regarding his condition? __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

10-21-2008, 02:50 PM	#15
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	thinking of you and your friend, Sam __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

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