For discussion: If you were a pedophile

Cloud · 09-02-2009, 01:56 PM

I've thought about this a bit, and would like to hear your thoughts.

It seems to me that pedophilia isn't a choice (and who would choose it?); it's more of a sexual orientation. An unwanted one in our society and, I think most would agree, almost a universally stigmatized behavior. It's abhorrent in a way homosexuality isn't to me, because it involves contact with a person who is not old enough to consent.

But let's say you are a young man, and you come to realize that your sexual preference really is prepubescent children. What the hell do you do?

-try to ignore it? and hope it doesn't become so compelling that you become a predator
--try therapy? which doesn't seem to be of much help
--give in to it and hate yourself, or disassociate your actions so much you don't even acknowledge it?
--become a priest or a boy scout leader?
--blow your head off because there's no hope?

I just don't know. And glad it's not me!

classicman · 09-02-2009, 01:58 PM

I cannot relate at all to this "behavior." If I even begin to think about it, as a parent ... I have VERY negative thoughts. If it were my kid ...

Cloud · 09-02-2009, 02:05 PM

I, too, find it very hard to relate to the monsters of our world. But there are plenty of them out there--how do they live with themselves?

What if you were a good man otherwise, but realized that you liked little kids that way. I mean, I just can't imagine . . .

Clodfobble · 09-02-2009, 02:06 PM

Isn't there a chemical castration option? I mean sure, it's no good when it's done involuntarily to Alan Turing, but if it's voluntary... My understanding is that if you have no sex drive at all, you are never compelled to act on anything even if your brain is still wired the same way.

Cloud · 09-02-2009, 02:12 PM

I really don't know how prevalent that is for voluntary procedures. I think that would be in the "therapy" option. I also think it would take a brave and strong person to walk into a psychiatrist's office and talk about those urges and request that.

Sheldonrs · 09-02-2009, 02:25 PM

This one is a tough one for me because it's taken a very long time to get people to accept the fact the being GAY is something you are born as. Imagine trying to get recognition for pedophile rights. (excluding NAMBLA. Their delusional freaks).
Added to this, my own experience as a victim when i was a kid.

So if I had been born a pedophile, I would hope I'd have the courage to put a stop to the behaviour in any way possible.

But 2000 years ago, it was common practice and considered honorable in Greece, for learned men to accept young boys as pupils and lovers.

Sundae · 09-02-2009, 02:30 PM

Louis Theroux (English broadcaster) dealt with this very issue in A Place for Paedophiles, a one-hour show set in a holding/ rehabilitation facility in California. The inmates have all served the sentences mandated by law, and are being held indefinitely in the public interest.

Very few make it through the program. Many refuse even to participate. Those that do are subjected to a battery of tests, one of which is the "peter metre". Developed during the Vietnam era, to determine whether men were really gay or just trying to avoid the draft (I bet it got more negatives than positives - patriotic gay Americans kept their mouths shut) it measures involuntary arousal to images shown.

Those that make it through, and are deemed no longer a threat can remain incarcerated for years awaiting a safe place to live.

These men are no longer criminals. So they have every possible state paid luxury you can have while still having your freedom denied. Three square meals, cable tv, classes, exercise etc etc. Something that must rip a hole in right wing sensibilities.

Re the OP - I'd simply deny myself.
But I'm not that way inclined and have no idea how I'd feel if I was.
I've been celibate since the last world cup, and now my libido is waking up I find myself getting blinding headaches when I masturbate. Go figure. I'm glad I don't believe in God.

Clodfobble · 09-02-2009, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

But 2000 years ago, it was common practice and considered honorable in Greece, for learned men to accept young boys as pupils and lovers.

It was mostly acceptable for straight men to rape women back then too. I don't think it's about the orientation either then or now, it's about the rights of the other person.

glatt · 09-02-2009, 02:37 PM

If everything about me stayed the same except for that one compulsion, I would probably feel incredibly guilty about it and would try to suppress it. The shame would also make me try to hide it, which means I wouldn't seek help or treatment.

This is an interesting question, but really unanswerable. I'm not a monster now, and I'd like to say that if I were a monster I wouldn't act like a monster. But the reality is probably that if I were a monster I'd probably act like one.

DanaC · 09-02-2009, 02:39 PM

I remember seeing a programme about paedophilia that was very interesting. One of the issues it raised is that there are different kinds of paedophile. There are those who are aroused by youngsters but who see it as a a kind of *thinks* 'beautiful' awakening of that youngster. They tend not to be violent or engage in rape. They tend more towards touching and 'loving' the child. Then there are those who view kids as there to be preyed upon; quite literally: there is a book that was circulated underground giving tips on how to groom, and and how to get into the affections of a family with children (for example). They are often violent and see the children as sexually aware teases.

Acting on either impulse is wrong (in my and most people's view) but...they are not the same thing. One is 'accidentally' harmful to a child they most likely love. The other is wilfully harmful to a child they have objectified. To me it is wrong to treat these two very different kinds of people as if they were the same, and equally 'evil'.

As to the OP: I'm really not sure, but I suspect i would lean towards celibacy, and 'satisfy' my compulsion through fantasy and pictures.

Sheldonrs · 09-02-2009, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

...I find myself getting blinding headaches when I masturbate. ...

So even when you masturbate you slam into the headboard? hehehehe

Cloud · 09-02-2009, 07:09 PM

I don't think there is a good answer, because frankly, we are not sure about this stuff; not sure if it's an inate "orientation"; if it is something that can be changed, or even treated effectively.

Dana: doesn't that first category just scream Michael Jackson? and, if celibacy is an option, is that why we get so many clergy afflicted with this? Maybe they're thinking, if I go into a celibate profession I can just not act this out with God's help.

DanaC · 09-02-2009, 07:13 PM

I think that's a good point Cloud. And yes it does just scream Michael Jackson.

Y'know i saw a brilliant film a couple of years ago about a paedophile. The lead role was played by Kevin bacon. Hell of a performance: very sensitively done. I thought he was ever so brave as an actor to take such a role.

Cloud · 09-02-2009, 07:44 PM

if you satisfy yourself with porn, you're still a sexual offender

is it the same?

DanaC · 09-02-2009, 07:55 PM

Depends on if it's real children involved. These days there's a hell of a lot of very realistic looking porn art .....or so I hear:P

09-02-2009, 01:56 PM	#1
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	For discussion: If you were a pedophile I've thought about this a bit, and would like to hear your thoughts. It seems to me that pedophilia isn't a choice (and who would choose it?); it's more of a sexual orientation. An unwanted one in our society and, I think most would agree, almost a universally stigmatized behavior. It's abhorrent in a way homosexuality isn't to me, because it involves contact with a person who is not old enough to consent. But let's say you are a young man, and you come to realize that your sexual preference really is prepubescent children. What the hell do you do? -try to ignore it? and hope it doesn't become so compelling that you become a predator --try therapy? which doesn't seem to be of much help --give in to it and hate yourself, or disassociate your actions so much you don't even acknowledge it? --become a priest or a boy scout leader? --blow your head off because there's no hope? I just don't know. And glad it's not me! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

09-02-2009, 01:58 PM	#2
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	I cannot relate at all to this "behavior." If I even begin to think about it, as a parent ... I have VERY negative thoughts. If it were my kid ... __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

09-02-2009, 02:05 PM	#3
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I, too, find it very hard to relate to the monsters of our world. But there are plenty of them out there--how do they live with themselves? What if you were a good man otherwise, but realized that you liked little kids that way. I mean, I just can't imagine . . . __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

09-02-2009, 02:06 PM	#4
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Isn't there a chemical castration option? I mean sure, it's no good when it's done involuntarily to Alan Turing, but if it's voluntary... My understanding is that if you have no sex drive at all, you are never compelled to act on anything even if your brain is still wired the same way. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

09-02-2009, 02:12 PM	#5
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I really don't know how prevalent that is for voluntary procedures. I think that would be in the "therapy" option. I also think it would take a brave and strong person to walk into a psychiatrist's office and talk about those urges and request that. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

09-02-2009, 02:25 PM	#6
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	This one is a tough one for me because it's taken a very long time to get people to accept the fact the being GAY is something you are born as. Imagine trying to get recognition for pedophile rights. (excluding NAMBLA. Their delusional freaks). Added to this, my own experience as a victim when i was a kid. So if I had been born a pedophile, I would hope I'd have the courage to put a stop to the behaviour in any way possible. But 2000 years ago, it was common practice and considered honorable in Greece, for learned men to accept young boys as pupils and lovers. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

09-02-2009, 02:30 PM	#7
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Louis Theroux (English broadcaster) dealt with this very issue in A Place for Paedophiles, a one-hour show set in a holding/ rehabilitation facility in California. The inmates have all served the sentences mandated by law, and are being held indefinitely in the public interest. *Very few* make it through the program. Many refuse even to participate. Those that do are subjected to a battery of tests, one of which is the "peter metre". Developed during the Vietnam era, to determine whether men were really gay or just trying to avoid the draft (I bet it got more negatives than positives - patriotic gay Americans kept their mouths shut) it measures involuntary arousal to images shown. Those that make it through, and are deemed no longer a threat can remain incarcerated for years awaiting a safe place to live. These men are no longer criminals. So they have every possible state paid luxury you can have while still having your freedom denied. Three square meals, cable tv, classes, exercise etc etc. Something that must rip a hole in right wing sensibilities. Re the OP - I'd simply deny myself. But I'm not that way inclined and have no idea how I'd feel if I was. I've been celibate since the last world cup, and now my libido is waking up I find myself getting blinding headaches when I masturbate. Go figure. I'm glad I don't believe in God. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-02-2009, 02:37 PM	#9
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	If everything about me stayed the same except for that one compulsion, I would probably feel incredibly guilty about it and would try to suppress it. The shame would also make me try to hide it, which means I wouldn't seek help or treatment. This is an interesting question, but really unanswerable. I'm not a monster now, and I'd like to say that if I were a monster I wouldn't act like a monster. But the reality is probably that if I were a monster I'd probably act like one.

09-02-2009, 07:09 PM	#12
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I don't think there is a good answer, because frankly, we are not sure about this stuff; not sure if it's an inate "orientation"; if it is something that can be changed, or even treated effectively. Dana: doesn't that first category just scream Michael Jackson? and, if celibacy is an option, is that why we get so many clergy afflicted with this? Maybe they're thinking, if I go into a celibate profession I can just not act this out with God's help. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

09-02-2009, 07:44 PM	#14
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	if you satisfy yourself with porn, you're still a sexual offender is it the same? __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

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