Limbaugh Reported Hospitalized With Chest Pains

[Elspode]

What a tragedy for America should Rush Limbaugh succumb after being stricken today on the golf course in Hawaii. For this calm, fair and balanced voice of reason to be struck down and taken from us during a time when his cool reflection and insights are more important than ever would be a national tragedy.

Indeed, should Limbaugh pass away, it is inevitable that tree hugging Leftwing Socialist wackos will tear down the very foundations of this God-fearing nation, send us careening headlong into another Sodom and Gomorrah, perhaps even trigger the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and bringing brimstone and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse to extract retribution from our nation, now bereft of it's moral compass.

So...everyone please dig deep, and send those contributions to me, Elspode. I will see that all donations go to an appropriate political action fund to ensure that Glenn Beck, or someone like him, can quickly ascend to their rightful position as the defacto leader of the Republican Party. Appropriate handling and service fees will, of course, be deducted in keeping with the best ideals of Free Enterprise.

Thank you.