How do things work around here.

Datalyss · 03-31-2010, 04:36 PM

Are we sarcastic or sincere? Cuz it's hard for me to tell sometimes, which is why I react the way I do.

Pete Zicato · 03-31-2010, 04:42 PM

Yes.

As IRL, it is an important skill to be able to derive socially acceptable behavior from the current context.

DanaC · 03-31-2010, 04:43 PM

In fairness, it may be slightly more difficult to get a handle on people in text communication than in face to face conversation.

That said ... Pete's right. It's contextual.

Pete Zicato · 03-31-2010, 04:58 PM

I agree. It can be very difficult to convey things in text that come across quite easily in tone of voice.

Smileys, tags, and such help. But it's still not as easy as in person.

Still most people manage to do ok.

Datalyss · 03-31-2010, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

In fairness, it may be slightly more difficult to get a handle on people in text communication than in face to face conversation.

That said ... Pete's right. It's contextual.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

I agree. It can be very difficult to convey things in text that come across quite easily in tone of voice.

Smileys, tags, and such help. But it's still not as easy as in person.

Still most people manage to do ok.

Thank you both for saying that. I'm not nearly as..umm...well...rude in real life as I apparently am on here. If I was, I'd be French

DanaC · 03-31-2010, 05:15 PM

lol

Spexxvet · 03-31-2010, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Datalyss

Thank you both for saying that. I'm not nearly as..umm...well...rude in real life as I apparently am on here. If I was, I'd be French

Victor French?

jinx · 03-31-2010, 05:51 PM

...washed his face in a fryin' pan...

Clodfobble · 03-31-2010, 05:57 PM

I think the trick is differentiating between the type of sarcasm you use with your friends, and the type of sarcasm you use with your enemies, and the fact that it's rarely a good idea to use sarcasm with strangers. Also, it's important to remember that not everyone here is friends with everyone else, so you may see two Dwellars being genuinely rude to each other, and if you don't know about whatever long-running baggage the two of them have going, you may assume that this is how people here treat their friends.

Really, it boils down to becoming familiar with each person here individually. Then you will know, when a person says something to you, how they meant it. If you don't know them, react to whatever they say the same way you would to a stranger on the street.

Aliantha · 03-31-2010, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Really, it boils down to becoming familiar with each person here individually. Then you will know, when a person says something to you, how they meant it. If you don't know them, react to whatever they say the same way you would to a stranger on the street.

The problem with this is that while the new person is a stranger and we're all strangers to them, we're not strangers to each other, so it's more akin to a new person showing up at a party where everyone else is already familiar which I think has a certain different set of rules.

For example, if you're the new person and someone seems to be being rude to you (even if they were actually joking), and you react the way you would with a stranger on the street (that is to tell them to take a flying leap or the equivalent), you might find yourself at the bottom of a dog pile around here, mainly because it's natural for people who know each other to take the side of their familiars...even if they might not 100% agree.

Aliantha · 03-31-2010, 06:35 PM

For what it's worth, I've had a lot of trouble over the years figuring out who's joking and who's being an arsehole mainly because I don't really use sarcasm in my day to day life, and particularly not with my friends. I just don't get it.

DanaC · 03-31-2010, 06:37 PM

I've quite deliberately toned down some of my more ascerbic humour, because, i discovered long ago that on teh interwebz it just gets you into long involved arguments/conversations about what your throwaway line meant :P

Cloud · 03-31-2010, 07:55 PM

dunno. I seem to get it wrong quite a lot.

I agree with Dana, too. Sometimes you're just typing shit out casually, and remarks come out that you really don't think about, but it's out there in black and white; and you really didn't mean it the way people take it, and all of a sudden you are in the doodoo.

TheMercenary · 03-31-2010, 07:59 PM

Ali, Dana, Cloud...

So many just don't get it, don't understand, take it the wrong way, and would think completely different if they just sat down and had a beer or two with you for night of respectful exchange....

Whatever. The Cellar has taught me to give up on that notion long ago.

Pete Zicato · 03-31-2010, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Datalyss

Thank you both for saying that. I'm not nearly as..umm...well...rude in real life as I apparently am on here.

Don't take that as absolution. Most people at least try to make their intent apparent.

If you really want to know how to make it around here, I will tell you the secret: You can be a smartass. But don't be an asshat.

And, of course, it is always acceptable to be a nice guy.

03-31-2010, 04:36 PM	#1
Datalyss Huh? Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Gallman, MS, USA Posts: 384	How do things work around here. Are we sarcastic or sincere? Cuz it's hard for me to tell sometimes, which is why I react the way I do.

03-31-2010, 04:42 PM	#2
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Yes. As IRL, it is an important skill to be able to derive socially acceptable behavior from the current context. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

03-31-2010, 04:58 PM	#4
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	I agree. It can be very difficult to convey things in text that come across quite easily in tone of voice. Smileys, tags, and such help. But it's still not as easy as in person. Still most people manage to do ok. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

03-31-2010, 05:51 PM	#8
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	...washed his face in a fryin' pan... __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

03-31-2010, 05:57 PM	#9
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I think the trick is differentiating between the type of sarcasm you use with your friends, and the type of sarcasm you use with your enemies, and the fact that it's rarely a good idea to use sarcasm with strangers. Also, it's important to remember that not everyone here is friends with everyone else, so you may see two Dwellars being genuinely rude to each other, and if you don't know about whatever long-running baggage the two of them have going, you may assume that this is how people here treat their friends. Really, it boils down to becoming familiar with each person here individually. Then you will know, when a person says something to you, how they meant it. If you don't know them, react to whatever they say the same way you would to a stranger on the street. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

03-31-2010, 06:35 PM	#11
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	For what it's worth, I've had a lot of trouble over the years figuring out who's joking and who's being an arsehole mainly because I don't really use sarcasm in my day to day life, and particularly not with my friends. I just don't get it. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

03-31-2010, 07:55 PM	#13
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	dunno. I seem to get it wrong quite a lot. I agree with Dana, too. Sometimes you're just typing shit out casually, and remarks come out that you really don't think about, but it's out there in black and white; and you really didn't mean it the way people take it, and all of a sudden you are in the doodoo. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

03-31-2010, 07:59 PM	#14
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Ali, Dana, Cloud... So many just don't get it, don't understand, take it the wrong way, and would think completely different if they just sat down and had a beer or two with you for night of respectful exchange.... Whatever. The Cellar has taught me to give up on that notion long ago.

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