Porn for God

ZenGum · 11-12-2010, 04:44 PM

Via New Scientist.

Johnathon Keats reasoned that God hasn't done any creating for around 14 billion years, which is probably why He is so cranky and tends to smote people so much. And, being the One True God, it's gonna be hard to fix him up with a suitable partner. So, Keats resorted to Divine Porn to try to help the Big Fella out.

But what would turn God on? How about memories of the last act of creation? So Keats got some pics from the LHC at CERN, where they have reproduced conditions just after the big bang (by smashing lead ions into each other at a gazillion miles an hour), and laid them out on a votive altar with candles and incense and stuff.

So, if the above picture reminds you of the warm fuzzy afterglow of the last time you had a cosmic orgasm, you might well be the almighty.

More interview at the link.

Trilby · 11-13-2010, 05:27 AM

now that you mention it - Yaweh does seem overly fond of smiting people.

Just read GOOD BOOK (David Plotz) and the One True God doesn't come off looking so swell in it. Not only does God smite, He does so arbitrarily - most times just on a whim!

footfootfoot · 11-13-2010, 08:49 AM

xoxoxoBruce · 11-13-2010, 11:12 AM

There hasn't been a smiting is thousands of years.

Trilby · 11-13-2010, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

There hasn't been a smiting is thousands of years.

you ARE familiar with my life, right?

It's just one big SMITE, all the time.

Gravdigr · 11-13-2010, 12:19 PM

Don't get all high and smitey on us...

xoxoxoBruce · 11-13-2010, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

you ARE familiar with my life, right?

It's just one big SMITE, all the time.

Bah, you're blaming the wrong source for you troubles.

Gravdigr · 11-13-2010, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

you ARE familiar with my life, right?

It's just one big SMITE, all the time.

You think that's bad...I was just cockblocked by a six year old.

Sundae · 11-14-2010, 04:50 AM

Ah Bri, that solves a mystery for me then.
The Old Testament God was verily fond of smiting, handing out punishments for people born in the wrong place, who mocked bald men, who went home the wrong way etc. But he seems to have been pretty quiet recently.

Now I know what he's been doing - giving you cancer and a craving for liquor, and cockblocking Grav via a 6 year old boy.
He does work in mysterious ways after all.
And Satan had to learn his sneakiness from somewhere...

Trilby · 11-14-2010, 04:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

He does work in mysterious ways after all.
And Satan had to learn his sneakiness from somewhere...

I think that is an excellent point!

and, yeah, the cancer smite was a dick move. Even for Him.

footfootfoot · 11-14-2010, 12:15 PM

So, you're not smitten with smiting then?

Gravdigr · 11-14-2010, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

...cockblocking Grav via a 6 year old boy.

Well, it was her granDAUGHTER that was doing the blocking. But, blocked is blocked...

xoxoxoBruce · 11-14-2010, 01:43 PM

GILFing?

Gravdigr · 11-14-2010, 02:23 PM

Grandma IamF? Damn, I guess so.

ETA: Does that say something about my age, that I hadn't thought that I was having sex (great sex) with a grandma?

xoxoxoBruce · 11-14-2010, 03:02 PM

Nothing wrong with hot Grandmas.
I've met some that were a lot hotter than their offspring.

11-12-2010, 04:44 PM	#1
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Porn for God Via New Scientist. Johnathon Keats reasoned that God hasn't done any creating for around 14 billion years, which is probably why He is so cranky and tends to smote people so much. And, being the One True God, it's gonna be hard to fix him up with a suitable partner. So, Keats resorted to Divine Porn to try to help the Big Fella out. But what would turn God on? How about memories of the last act of creation? So Keats got some pics from the LHC at CERN, where they have reproduced conditions just after the big bang (by smashing lead ions into each other at a gazillion miles an hour), and laid them out on a votive altar with candles and incense and stuff. So, if the above picture reminds you of the warm fuzzy afterglow of the last time you had a cosmic orgasm, you might well be the almighty. More interview at the link. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

11-13-2010, 05:27 AM	#2
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	now that you mention it - Yaweh does seem overly fond of smiting people. Just read GOOD BOOK (David Plotz) and the One True God doesn't come off looking so swell in it. Not only does God smite, He does so arbitrarily - most times just on a whim! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-13-2010, 08:49 AM	#3
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	__________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

11-13-2010, 11:12 AM	#4
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	There hasn't been a smiting is thousands of years. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-13-2010, 12:19 PM	#6
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Don't get all high and smitey on us... __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-14-2010, 04:50 AM	#9
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Ah Bri, that solves a mystery for me then. The Old Testament God was verily fond of smiting, handing out punishments for people born in the wrong place, who mocked bald men, who went home the wrong way etc. But he seems to have been pretty quiet recently. Now I know what he's been doing - giving you cancer and a craving for liquor, and cockblocking Grav via a 6 year old boy. He does work in mysterious ways after all. And Satan had to learn his sneakiness from somewhere...

11-14-2010, 12:15 PM	#11
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	So, you're not smitten with smiting then? __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

11-14-2010, 01:43 PM	#13
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	GILFing? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-14-2010, 02:23 PM	#14
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Grandma IamF? Damn, I guess so. ETA: Does that say something about my age, that I hadn't thought that I was having sex (great sex) with a grandma? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-14-2010, 03:02 PM	#15
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Nothing wrong with hot Grandmas. I've met some that were a lot hotter than their offspring. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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