Wisdom the Hard Way

[Trilby]

What wisdom do you have to impart that you learned the hard way? something specific to you or your life - something maybe you could NOT avoid?

I discovered that I'd rather have a mastectomy than chemotherapy.

Love is a choice and has very little to do with who the other person 'is' -

and being alone is happiness. Hell is other people.

What are some of your hard won truths?

[DanaC]

Contentment is something that has to be an inner thing, it cannot come from external sources.

Setting aside the obvious exception of clinical depression, happiness and contentment are a conscious choice. You have to reach for it.

Guilt over things said and done in the past is pointless and just keeps you awake unnecessarily for something that can't be repaired. Let go, move on.

It doesn't matter who likes or dislikes you, if you don't like yourself you cannot be comfortable in your own skin. Be kind to yourself, and that includes being kind to your younger self in memory.

Live in the now. Fantasy is lovely, daydreaming, I do a lot, but avoid daydreaming about the past, it brings yearning and can never be truly revisited, and avoid daydreaming about the future, it raises too many existential questions :p

The only way to avoid stasis and stagnation is to do/see/experience new things. If doing this is scary, try not to think about it too deeply just agree to things outside your comfort zone and deal with the panic later :p

Sometimes it's good to take on too many things at once. If I have nothing urgent to do, I will end up doing nothing.

Similar to the above, but: the Now is all that you really own. You can plan for old age, you can plan for when you move house, you can dream of your ship coming in. But the sky can fall in without warning at any time. So, grab what happiness you can and shape your life as close to what you want as you can get. Be honest to yourself about what that is. It may not be the thing you dreamed of when you were young.

Try to be flexible. Ride with the punches. Everything changes. This is the one thing we can be sure of. In times of trouble, know that it will pass. In good times, know that too will pass and try not to be phased when it does :p My life used to feel like a roller coaster of crisis and joy. Now, I pretty much stroll through life. I take things as they come, mostly. I find my happiness where I can, and have no shame in seeking joy in ephemera.

[limey]

Never lend money you cannot afford to give away. In fact, consider it a gift rather than a loan, even if the recipient intends to (and does) repay it.

[DanaC]

Good advice.




[eta] rofl. Don't I owe you some money btw? For tickets?

[grynch]

one tequila two
two tequila three
three tequila floor

[Rhianne]

Never ask for or take advice from anyone on an internet message board!

[Sundae]

Ummm, yup.
I owe Limey too!
(and prolly you too Dana...)

[infinite monkey]

If he puts you on too high a pedestal, you are 99.999999999% likely to be pushed off that pedestal, rapidly and violently, in the future.

Wear a helmet.

[limey]

Oh girls, Glasgae Gurrls!
I most certainly did NOT mean it that way. (but yes, you do!)

[DanaC]

lol

Oh Limey honey, it was just a funny connection that went twang in my brain.

@ Sundae: if'n you do, I don't remember what or what for. *grins* Buy me a meal in Covent garden when you go full time at work

[Sundae]

No, Limey I did not take it that way either.
I had the same TWANG Dani did.
Mine was a twang of conscience though.

And when I've been in funds (not since I've been here, but actually I was, from 16-30) I've lived by that advice too.

Did you see my London update?
Mum asked more than once "Do you think your brother would like your underground restaurant?" (Belgo)
Answer - maybe. But we can't eat & drink there @ £5 per head.

[Stormieweather]

The only person you have the power to change is yourself.

Don't look for someone to "complete" you. Get whole, THEN find another whole person to partner with. Otherwise, you end up with dysfunction.

Time passes too quickly. Relish every moment because once it is gone, it is totally gone.

Forgiveness is for your own well-being. Forgiveness does not mean to condone or to accept or to tolerate. It means you've let go of the anger and bitterness and freed up that spot in your soul for something more beneficial.

The only person you can depend on to fully protect you, is you.

Don't be afraid to be different. Celebrate your uniqueness instead of trying to be a pale imitation of anyone else.

[DanaC]

Ooooh. Belgo was awesome.

[Spexxvet]

Most things are not worth fighting over.

[skysidhe]

In my 20's I was full of wisdom. I had the answers to life's most profound questions. In my 30's I was partially wise. I could eek out a good thought now and again. Presently, I am content to celebrate the wisdom of others, having none myself. Looking back through the years, wisdom is highly over rated.