Yeah, it's me. I only call when I need something. Porn and kids... the talk

[footfootfoot]

So I will be brief atm, but I was helping the inch set up some stuff on his computer and decided it might be a good idea to have a look at his browser history.

He's been looking at unwholesome things, let's put it that way.

The usual sex curiosity stuff I'm fine with, but with youtube these days the suggestions tend to escalate.

"Oh you are interested in how to have sex? Have you checked out these videos?"
And of course there are obviously things he's heard about in school.

Have to have the talk, and I'd love input from you guys who've been there.

My main aim is not to shame and to foster open comms. And maybe get some dating pointers.

[glatt]

I can't tell you what to do, only what we did.

I had the talk with both of them when they were very young. Kids that age love to know how things work and this was just one of many talks about how all sorts of different things work. And then after the basic insert tab a into slot b explanation when they were very little, my wife and I have just explained our values when teachable moments come up. I've never had a talk about how the pleasure of sex works or how to get it on. I think that's not something they want to hear from their parents. Just the basic biology and the values. And then probably most important to me, I try to be a good role model in how I interact with my wife. I want my son to see how a man should treat a woman, and I want my daughter to see how she should be treated. Because sex is just part of the relationship.

I'd recommend having the penis goes into the vagina talk now, if you haven't already, although he probably knows it well from the internet. And then talk about values. The time and place for sex. What it means to have sex with someone. Who you have sex with. The respect for the partner. And how what he sees on the internet is porn and porn is different from reality and don't let it confuse him. Actually, I need to have that last talk with my own kids. I haven't talked to them much about porn.

[xoxoxoBruce]

What? Just Google Storks, and cabbage patches.

[glatt]

I think I'm going to make the bike analogy with the boy.

Imagine if people learned about bikes on the internet. They would think that bike riding is always like this:


When really for most people, it's like this:

[xoxoxoBruce]

And be sure to ride as many different bikes as you can, so you can be sure the one you buy is the best fit.

[glatt]

LOL. And you may think the gel seat is more comfortable, but a hard one is actually better.

Wait, what were we talking about again?

[Gravdigr]

Hiya Feet!

[Clodfobble]

The practical side of the porn talk is to remind them how easy it is to get a computer virus from sketchy sites. And never, ever pay for it, because that's just financially irresponsible.

[DanaC]

The unrealistic expectations thing is worth addressing, I'd have thought. When you see some of the hardcore stuff that's readily available it must give some odd ideas, not just about the opposite sex, but also what is expected of them.

It's an added layer of pressure that they just don't need at that age.

[Gravdigr]

Also, make sure to explain about those stout-cootered Texas wimmins.

[xoxoxoBruce]

What happens when the try to figure it out.

[footfootfoot]

He's watched every episode of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6JG-u5LnuA

and a whole lot of walking dead.

I've got the kids tomorrow so I'll talk with him then.

There was also this disturbing thing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4I9K_plx4s

Innocence is wasted on the innocent.

[monster]

How old is the inch? Does he already have the basics down?

[lumberjim]

and does he resent his moniker, given the context of discussion

[Aliantha]

Well my older boys were looking up porn on the internet when they were about 11 or 12 (which is when they first got access to the internet), and I just told them if they wanted to watch porn, they'd have to do it when they have their own computers or I'd put a net nanny on mine. Basically, I think kids (boys in particular) are going to look at stuff like porn and then go whack off. It's been going on ever since boys grew pubes. As a mother, I'm ok with it in a way because it saves a lot of awkward moments with sheet washing etc. On the other hand, there's the whole respect thing that glatt mentions. I guess from my perspective it really did come down to my kids not thinking porn is real in the sense of how a relationship works.