05/22/03: The Errand

[juju]

Once, the manager for the video store I used to work at asked me to run an errand in her car for the store. Being an obedient employee, I said, "sure", and asked her what kind of car she drove. I had a vague idea, but I just wanted to be sure I remembered right.

Anyway, I got out to her car, checked the color and model, and it's the right car. I find that the doors are unlocked.

"What an idiot.", I think to myself, "Why the hell do people do that? Hey, I'll just leave my car unlocked for any fool to wander in!"

So I jump in the seat, and slide the key into the ignition. But for some reason, it won't turn. I try twisting it really hard, jiggling it around a bunch, but it's just not happening. "What the heck is wrong with this stupid thing?", I think to myself, "It's almost as if this key wasn't made for this car."

So I go back inside and tell her that the key doesn't work. She looks at me incredulously and then decides I'm an idiot.

"You just have to jiggle it around a little. Go back and try it again. You'll get it."

"Fine", I think to myself, and I go back out and sit in the driver's seat again. Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, this shit isn't working. Now I'm bored, so I start flipping through her cassette tapes to see what her musical preferences are. I don't remember what tapes were there, but I remember finding her choices amusing.

Then, for some reason, I decided to turn around and look at the cars parked behind me. I don't know why I did this. Maybe subconsciously, the wheels in my head were actually turning (I doubt it). So I turn around in the seat and look, and there's another car that looks exactly like the one I'm sitting in, about thirty feet away. Same model, same year, same fucking color.

"SHIT!"

I get out of the car and start to walk back inside, but before I'm even 5 feet away, I look up, and there's this horrified but very cautious looking lady staring at me and not moving an inch. She has a little kid with her, and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she thinks I'm going to strangle her and her child right then and there. I realize that she owns the car I'd just been sitting in, and now I'm busted!! She's now seen me get out of her car and I'm now a criminal.

I apologized and tried to explain that I was borrowing a friend's car and had gotten into the wrong one, but like any explanation in a circumstance like that, It came out really stupid-sounding. I'm sure she thought I'd just made it up. Luckily for me, she thought I was going to KILL her and her poor child and chop them up into little bitty pieces (I could tell by the shock and fear in her eyes). So she accepted my half-assed explanation and got the hell out of there (once I started to walk away, of course).

This above circumstance has got to be one of THE most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me in my entire life. It's like, top ten. Hell, probably top five.

[Whit]

     Dude that is freakin' hilarious. What's even funnier is that if she saw you flipping through the tapes I bet your story didn't wash with her at all. On the bright side, I bet you convinced her to start locking her car doors.
     'Sides, you really do have that big buff mean-spirited ex-con look to you. No wonder she was scared. ;D

[SteveDallas]

I remember one time I must have been about 14 or 15 my dad and I went some store downtown where we lived to look at something, and we came back out and proceeded to get in our white 1982 Buick Skylark with dark blue interior. We sat down and then, at approximately the same time my dad said, "hey, the key's not working" and I said "where'd this newspaper come from?" Sure enough, immediately behind us was our car.

[juju]

LOL. Oh man, that's funny. Well, at least I'm not the only one!

Andrea and I were at Wal-Mart after picking up some games at Best Buy. We finish up, come back out, get to her car... she sticks the key in, unlocks my door. I hop in, and I unlock her door for her. I look down to see if my games are there - No! I'm like "Oh shit! My games were stolen!"

About the same time, she notices that her CDs have been taken too. And that so have her seat covers. And there's a lot of trash in her car. And, hey, this isn't her car!

Over a row, there it sits. Same color, all that good stuff. But the weird coincidence is that her key worked in this car. We were both kind of shocked and amused. Locked the doors and went on our way home. What are the chances?

[Whit]

     Ok Dave, fess up. You didn't at least collect a few samples of the trash that was in the car and put it in the drivers seat? Kind of a 'Hello' note? Change the cd/tape that was in? Nothing?

[juju]

That's amazing that it happened to all three of us. Just how common is this occurance?? I was thinking that it was a complete fluke. Obviously, the chances of it happening weren't as infinitesimally small as I thought.

[Undertoad]

I do know that there are only 256 key combinations for my VW. Keys are not that precise!

[wolf]

I think that's one of the reasons a lot of manufacturers are going to the chipped keys ... the ones that have an electronic code which has to match that of the ignition system in order to start the car. (My Sable has this arrangment.)

I've always been aware of this ... moreso from having lived in numerous apartment complexes that use kwikset keysets. I've always wondered why (other than convenience) they match the deadbolt key to the regular door key ... they should mismatch 'em so that it's less likely that a fellow resident without scruples or burglar can go around trying doors until s/he hits the jackpot.

[Tobiasly]

Originally posted by wolf
I think that's one of the reasons a lot of manufacturers are going to the chipped keys ... the ones that have an electronic code which has to match that of the ignition system in order to start the car.

Thanks but no thanks. Those chipped keys are much more trouble than they're worth, especially for people like me who lose their keys all the time. 1:256 are just fine enough odds for me.