Why Unwed Mothers Under 18 Should Not Have Naming Rights for their Offspring

wolf · 12-05-2004, 08:58 PM

Today as I was taking out the trash, I heard a mom yelling for her son. I don't actually know these people, so I don't know if the thread title is entirely accurate, but given the relative apparent ages of mother and son, I'm reasonably confident of my assumption.

What was mom yelling that prompted me to start a thread?

"Evian!!! Evian!! Get in here NOW."

Of course, this is not the end of the story.

The yelling was unsuccessful, so mom had to resort to the standby method of getting her skateboarding house ape to come in for dinner ... she called his cellphone.

And I learned that he was not being called in for dinner, as he explained to his playmate ... "Damn bitch can't let me alone. She say I not done my homework. She go on the computer and see it ain't there."

Over the last few months I've also seen a couple examples of this at the nuthouse. I had a "Gazinna" and a "Latrina" on the unit at the same time. What were their parents thinking? Yes, the two names make a sentence. Isn't that just cute?

lumberjim · 12-05-2004, 09:13 PM

ok, jinx's sister knew a girl that named her child Placenta. yup. Heard it in the hospital, and like the sound of it. uh huh.

I sold a car to a girl named Latrina. (back when i was selling cars

)

I particularly like the cave man diction the boy used. stands to reason, I suppose. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Let's not forget the little geniuses we meet, though. My only hope is that, since the stupid breed faster, that the smart ones will have enough positive impact to offset a sufficient ratio of the dumb ones, thereby at least maintaining our already scary national character. or i could just be high.

elSicomoro · 12-05-2004, 09:13 PM

As my mother-in-law would say with disdain, "Mmm mmm mmm! Homemade names!"

Troubleshooter · 12-06-2004, 09:18 AM

Kawana, Lakwanda, Shanikwa, Latika...

It's a faux african thing, you wouldn't understand.

ladysycamore · 12-06-2004, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Today as I was taking out the trash, I heard a mom yelling for her son. I don't actually know these people, so I don't know if the thread title is entirely accurate, but given the relative apparent ages of mother and son, I'm reasonably confident of my assumption.

What was mom yelling that prompted me to start a thread?

"Evian!!! Evian!! Get in here NOW."

Of course, this is not the end of the story.

The yelling was unsuccessful, so mom had to resort to the standby method of getting her skateboarding house ape to come in for dinner ... she called his cellphone.

And I learned that he was not being called in for dinner, as he explained to his playmate ... "Damn bitch can't let me alone. She say I not done my homework. She go on the computer and see it ain't there."

Whew! This only makes me grin and say, "Better her than me!" :p

ladysycamore · 12-06-2004, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sycamore

As my mother-in-law would say with disdain, "Mmm mmm mmm! Homemade names!"

And also: "Hmph! I ain't neva heard of such!" ~Mom~

garnet · 12-06-2004, 11:20 AM

I got an e-mail today from a girl named "Cysta." It appears her parents were fond of large, non-malignant growths on the human body.

Happy Monkey · 12-06-2004, 11:34 AM

I've always been fond of the (apocryphal?) Oranjello and Lemonjello (accent on second syllable).

wolf · 12-06-2004, 11:36 AM

One of the major insurance companies moved their mental health call center operations from somewhere in the Midwest (Wisconsin or Minnesota, I believe) to just outside of Baltimore.

I used to speak with middle aged women with names like "Ann" and "Marge."

I now find myself having to ask, is that LaTika with a "k" or a "q"? Two "e's" and a "qu". Okay, thanks.

jinx · 12-06-2004, 11:47 AM

I always thought Utah Mormons came up with the best names.

http://wesclark.com/ubn

Crap - can't get it to work for some reason. I swear it looks right when I put it in there...

wolf · 12-06-2004, 12:07 PM

Link's broken (you have an extra http:// in there ...)

Site is very interesting. There are some odd ones in there ... "Nighttrain?" Who names their kids after nasty wino-level booze?

jinx · 12-06-2004, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Link's broken (you have an extra http:// in there ...)

Site is very interesting. There are some odd ones in there ... "Nighttrain?" Who names their kids after nasty wino-level booze?

Thanks.

I like

Quote:

Girls you just know have big, floofy hair: Blondeen, Rayette, Faundaree, Shazette, Shasheena, Honilynn, Najestica, Teasa, Shazzanna, Pluma, Bobbette, Blonda, Breezy, Wenderella, Aquanetta, Brinderella, Dazzlyn

Aquanetta

garnet · 12-06-2004, 12:20 PM

My personal favorites from that list are Bucket, Dwodger and Beefea. Nice!

Cyber Wolf · 12-06-2004, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

There are some odd ones in there ... "Nighttrain?" Who names their kids after nasty wino-level booze?

They didn't...they named that kid after a song by James Brown

I've got a cousin named Loquacious. And boy did she ever grow into her name...

Torrere · 12-09-2004, 11:40 PM

There is or was a girl named "Abcde".

12-05-2004, 08:58 PM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Why Unwed Mothers Under 18 Should Not Have Naming Rights for their Offspring Today as I was taking out the trash, I heard a mom yelling for her son. I don't actually know these people, so I don't know if the thread title is entirely accurate, but given the relative apparent ages of mother and son, I'm reasonably confident of my assumption. What was mom yelling that prompted me to start a thread? "Evian!!! Evian!! Get in here NOW." Of course, this is not the end of the story. The yelling was unsuccessful, so mom had to resort to the standby method of getting her skateboarding house ape to come in for dinner ... she called his cellphone. And I learned that he was not being called in for dinner, as he explained to his playmate ... "Damn bitch can't let me alone. She say I not done my homework. She go on the computer and see it ain't there." Over the last few months I've also seen a couple examples of this at the nuthouse. I had a "Gazinna" and a "Latrina" on the unit at the same time. What were their parents thinking? Yes, the two names make a sentence. Isn't that just cute? __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-06-2004, 09:18 AM	#4
Troubleshooter The urban Jane Goodall Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 3,012	Kawana, Lakwanda, Shanikwa, Latika... It's a faux african thing, you wouldn't understand. __________________ I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. - Aristotle

12-06-2004, 11:34 AM	#8
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	I've always been fond of the (apocryphal?) Oranjello and Lemonjello (accent on second syllable). __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

12-06-2004, 11:36 AM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	One of the major insurance companies moved their mental health call center operations from somewhere in the Midwest (Wisconsin or Minnesota, I believe) to just outside of Baltimore. I used to speak with middle aged women with names like "Ann" and "Marge." I now find myself having to ask, is that LaTika with a "k" or a "q"? Two "e's" and a "qu". Okay, thanks. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-06-2004, 11:47 AM	#10
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	I always thought Utah Mormons came up with the best names. http://wesclark.com/ubn Crap - can't get it to work for some reason. I swear it looks right when I put it in there... __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good. Last edited by jinx; 12-06-2004 at 12:16 PM.

12-05-2004, 09:13 PM	#2
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	ok, jinx's sister knew a girl that named her child Placenta. yup. Heard it in the hospital, and like the sound of it. uh huh. I sold a car to a girl named Latrina. (back when i was selling cars ) I particularly like the cave man diction the boy used. stands to reason, I suppose. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Let's not forget the little geniuses we meet, though. My only hope is that, since the stupid breed faster, that the smart ones will have enough positive impact to offset a sufficient ratio of the dumb ones, thereby at least maintaining our already scary national character. or i could just be high.

12-05-2004, 09:13 PM	#3
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	As my mother-in-law would say with disdain, "Mmm mmm mmm! Homemade names!"

12-06-2004, 11:20 AM	#7
garnet ... Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 657	I got an e-mail today from a girl named "Cysta." It appears her parents were fond of large, non-malignant growths on the human body.

12-06-2004, 12:07 PM	#11
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Link's broken (you have an extra http:// in there ...) Site is very interesting. There are some odd ones in there ... "Nighttrain?" Who names their kids after nasty wino-level booze? __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-06-2004, 12:20 PM	#13
garnet ... Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 657	My personal favorites from that list are Bucket, Dwodger and Beefea. Nice!

12-09-2004, 11:40 PM	#15
Torrere a real smartass Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Kirkland, WA Posts: 1,121	There is or was a girl named "Abcde". Last edited by Torrere; 12-09-2004 at 11:56 PM.

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