There Can Be Only One ... and it's clearly not this guy.

wolf · 08-09-2005, 09:50 AM

Police Report from The Smoking Gun

from the intro:

AUGUST 5--Meet Robert McClain. The Michigan man, 42, was arrested last week after he attempted to literally go medieval on cops. According to the below Royal Oak Police Department report, officers were dispatched to McClain's home after a motorist called 911 to report that McClain had fled the scene of an auto accident. When they arrived at his crib, McClain allegedly tried to strike a cop with a four-foot sword. After missing, McClain retreated to his basement, where he donned a chainmail armored vest and leather gauntlets to protect his arms. He also added a giant wooden mallet to his arsenal and beckoned officers to come downstairs and get him. "I'm gonna crush your *censored* skulls," McClain warned. Then, in a nice rhetorical flourish (for a lunatic, at least), he added, "I have a thousand years of power." That omnipotence, however, was no match for a police Taser, which felled McClain. He was then carted off and charged with felony assault and a misdemeanor count for failing to remain at an accident scene.

xoxoxoBruce · 08-09-2005, 10:00 AM

He'd have better off hammering a Russian Paratrooper.

Queen of the Ryche · 08-09-2005, 10:00 AM

...and the Taser had a thousand years of technology........

lookout123 · 08-09-2005, 03:44 PM

well, if they hit him with taser while he was wearing a bunch of metal, there may have been some sparks. that is kind of like lightning, right?

edit: put stock symbol in for taser in rather than spelling it. oops.

Griff · 08-09-2005, 05:50 PM

So you're recommending a buy then?

Happy Monkey · 08-09-2005, 05:57 PM

Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

When they say he started with a 4 foot sword, then added a giant wooden mallet, do they mean he was attempting a dual wield with two two-handed weapons? No wonder he lost!

xoxoxoBruce · 08-09-2005, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queen of the Ryche

...and the Taser had a thousand years of technology........

Well, if it hadn't been for Franklin and that stupid key on a kite they could have shot him and saved the taxpayers a lot of money.

BigV · 08-09-2005, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

well, if they hit him with taser while he was wearing a bunch of metal, there may have been some sparks. that is kind of like lightning, right?

edit: put stock symbol in for taser in rather than spelling it. oops.

Color me impressed that you know the stock symbol for Taser (R), know it well enough that your fingers typed it without your brain editing it out in this different context. Interesting.

lookout123 · 08-09-2005, 08:12 PM

don't be that impressed BigV. the symbol is....TASR. not a big stretch. and besides, i have at least 2/3 random people that call every day just to say, "how's tasr doing? is it a good time to buy a thousand shares??"

cowhead · 08-09-2005, 08:24 PM

depends on his Dex I guess...two handed indeed -1 -3

tw · 08-09-2005, 08:36 PM

So that is what happened to the Michigan Militia.

richlevy · 08-09-2005, 09:03 PM

This explains all of those sparks in Highlander, it was a cop with a Taser.

Lightning Bolt, Lightning Bolt.

footfootfoot · 08-09-2005, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

When they say he started with a 4 foot sword, then added a giant wooden mallet, do they mean he was attempting a dual wield with two two-handed weapons? No wonder he lost!

Jeez, doesn't having a thousand years of power count for anything these days?

wolf · 08-10-2005, 12:12 AM

With the current energy prices, he could only afford 250 years ...

08-09-2005, 09:50 AM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	There Can Be Only One ... and it's clearly not this guy. Police Report from The Smoking Gun from the intro: AUGUST 5--Meet Robert McClain. The Michigan man, 42, was arrested last week after he attempted to literally go medieval on cops. According to the below Royal Oak Police Department report, officers were dispatched to McClain's home after a motorist called 911 to report that McClain had fled the scene of an auto accident. When they arrived at his crib, McClain allegedly tried to strike a cop with a four-foot sword. After missing, McClain retreated to his basement, where he donned a chainmail armored vest and leather gauntlets to protect his arms. He also added a giant wooden mallet to his arsenal and beckoned officers to come downstairs and get him. "I'm gonna crush your censored skulls," McClain warned. Then, in a nice rhetorical flourish (for a lunatic, at least), he added, "I have a thousand years of power." That omnipotence, however, was no match for a police Taser, which felled McClain. He was then carted off and charged with felony assault and a misdemeanor count for failing to remain at an accident scene. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-09-2005, 10:00 AM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	He'd have better off hammering a Russian Paratrooper. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

08-09-2005, 10:00 AM	#3
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	...and the Taser had a thousand years of technology........ __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

08-09-2005, 03:44 PM	#4
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	well, if they hit him with taser while he was wearing a bunch of metal, there may have been some sparks. that is kind of like lightning, right? edit: put stock symbol in for taser in rather than spelling it. oops. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

08-09-2005, 05:50 PM	#5
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	So you're recommending a buy then? __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

08-09-2005, 05:57 PM	#6
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! When they say he started with a 4 foot sword, then added a giant wooden mallet, do they mean he was attempting a dual wield with two two-handed weapons? No wonder he lost! __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

08-09-2005, 08:12 PM	#9
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	don't be that impressed BigV. the symbol is....TASR. not a big stretch. and besides, i have at least 2/3 random people that call every day just to say, "how's tasr doing? is it a good time to buy a thousand shares??" __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

08-09-2005, 08:24 PM	#10
cowhead halve your cake and eat it too. Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Georgia.. by way of Lawrence Kansas Posts: 1,359	depends on his Dex I guess...two handed indeed -1 -3 __________________ no my child.. this is not my desire..I'm digging for fire.

08-09-2005, 08:36 PM	#11
tw Read? I only know how to write. Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 11,933	So that is what happened to the Michigan Militia.

08-09-2005, 09:03 PM	#12
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	This explains all of those sparks in Highlander, it was a cop with a Taser. Lightning Bolt, Lightning Bolt. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

08-10-2005, 12:12 AM	#14
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	With the current energy prices, he could only afford 250 years ... __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

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