Post Content vs Appearance

Sundae · 11-03-2006, 09:12 AM

Just out of interest:

Would someone's appearance change the way you read/ responded to their posts?

Following the various "Show Yourself" threads, people have responded - as is natural - approving of others' looks, calling them cute, saying they will flirt with them etc etc.

Now I have posted pic/ video, because I'm desperately nosey and love to see what other people look like. Given the choice I'd like a tour of Dwellars houses, offices, their family tree and a sample of their children's handwriting to boot. Therefore I feel I should show if I look (learned at an early age obviously!

But my question is, are we losing the one area where people are judged solely on their minds? And if we are, should we regret that?

DanaC · 11-03-2006, 09:22 AM

Mmm.....good question. I have mixed feelings on this. Part of me wants to post a picture.....then again, I avoid going and looking at those posts because I don't want to know what people look like. I'd rather know how they percieve themselves to be.

I never thought it would matter, but I had a salutary experience when in my gaming days. I had a friend, who played a really evil, but deeply suave character. He had huge charisma within the game, everyone was drawn to him. Naturally, I formed a mental image of him.

Then I saw a picture of him. Now, it didn't in any way change my feelings of friendship towards him, but it did subtly alter the dynamic, when his physical appearance did not match the character he projected. I got over that quite quickly and reinstated that character in my understanding of him, but for a little while, it did get in the way a little.

Flint · 11-03-2006, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

But my question is, are we losing the one area where people are judged solely on their minds? And if we are, should we regret that?

Yes, and yes. I've resisted, for years, knowing what people look like on message boards (usually by not following a link). I've always valued the internet as a collection of disembodied minds, the one place where the things that seperate us are marginalized. I hear what you are saying, but I think, maybe the natural human tendencies are inevitable. I don't feel as strongly about it as I used to. I guess I'm de-sensitized to the idea.

Elspode · 11-03-2006, 10:08 AM

I *love* being able to put a face to the sensibilities. I love it because *it teaches me not to judge a person*, in this case neither on appearance nor presentation. Getting that moment of " I would have never thought they looked like that " is an ongoing education on a subject at which I frankly suck.

That said, here are people whom I think look like their post content.

rkzenrage
foot3
yesman
Ducks

People for whom I had to adjust my preconceived image:

Shawnee123
Griff
Marichiko

I'm sure there's more in each category, but I probably should try to do some actual work today...

Shawnee123 · 11-03-2006, 10:12 AM

Cool. Now I'm so curious as to what your preconceived image was. This is neat because now I get to find out what my writing style conveys.

Sundae · 11-03-2006, 10:18 AM

Hey - what bout me Elspode?

I don't think my opinion of anyone has changed because I don't - and never have - judged on appearance. Not being holier-than thou I promise - I never get a mental picture of characters in books either, even when I am totally in love with them. My imagination doesn't run like that is all. And even seeing the pictures I will never remember who is who....

But I believe I am in the minority.

Shawnee123 · 11-03-2006, 10:35 AM

I am like you, Sundae. People just look like what they look like. I've been in situtuations trying to describe someone to someone else...if they ask something like "does he have a moustache?" I often don't know...their face is just their face, you know?

mrnoodle · 11-03-2006, 10:48 AM

I like seeing the pics, but I don't really make a connection between the persona and the image. If I have a preconception about someone's personality, I revert to that when I'm reading the post.

I also suck at putting names with faces, IRL and online.

Flint · 11-03-2006, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

...an ongoing education...

Thats' a great way to look at it. Thanks, Elspode.

Elspode · 11-03-2006, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Hey - what bout me Elspode?

Well, therein lies the rub. I didn't have what I would think of as a *specific* image of you in my mind; no visualization or anything like that. It was more a, "Hmm...she doesn't look like I was expecting" when I saw your pic. I don't think I can explain it any better than that.

Sundae...in truth, based on your self-descriptions, I was expecting someone rather portly, and that couldn't be further from the truth from what I've seen. Not that it would have mattered if you *had been* portly, but we are talking about preconceived visual imagery, right? I find you lovely, quintessentially English, and, from all appearances, entirely approachable. At least, those are the descriptors that come to mind now that I've seen your pic.

glatt · 11-03-2006, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Well, therein lies the rub. I didn't have what I would think of as a *specific* image of you in my mind; no visualization or anything like that. It was more a, "Hmm...she doesn't look like I was expecting" when I saw your pic. I don't think I can explain it any better than that.

I've made the same comment to others in the past, and everyone wants to know how you expected them to look. I guess I would want to know too.

Sundae · 11-03-2006, 11:48 AM

I do understand - I think that was what I was getting at. You get a "feel" for someone. And even then they can shock you with an opinion. But is that idea of them nailed into place by the visual? For example I have the Blackadder script book - I can't hear anyone but the actual actors in my head when I read it.

BTW - thanks for the kind words Elspode - and I know with you the picture has nothing to do with it.

Shawnee123 · 11-03-2006, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Cool. Now I'm so curious as to what your preconceived image was. This is neat because now I get to find out what my writing style conveys.

Ummm...you ignoring this, spode, lends me to believe you envisioned me as something much more than I am and you don't want to hurt my feelings. That, or you pictured me as a wart-covered, hairless, toothless, sloth-like creature and you don't want to hurt my feelings.

Elspode · 11-03-2006, 01:50 PM

Absolutely *not*, girl! I think you're cuter than a bug's ear! No, I mean exactly what I said...that, although when I saw your pic, I thought, "gee, she doesn't look like I was expecting", I cannot say with any certainty what I *was* expecting.

Griff nailed it, there, but now I'll forge on and try to elaborate at least a little more. Your writing style is very fresh, honest and open. I think I was expecting someone...well...*younger*. In no way am I disappointed with the fact that you seem to be a grown up in the pic. Quite the contrary; I think that when a person reaches a certain age (now, don't put me on the spot and ask me how old I think you are, 'cause that's just gonna go bad for both of us) and is still able to seem so open and lively, displaying few traces of bitterness or hostility about their lives...well, damn. That's cool. But it skews my preconceptions to the younger end of the age/appearance scale.

I'm just digging myself into a really deep hole, here aren't I? How can I redeem myself? Um...you're very cute, Me talk you long time, love you many much long time. Yeah, that covers it, I hope.

Griff · 11-03-2006, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Griff nailed it, there, but now I'll forge on and try to elaborate at least a little more.

And when you're done there you can explain how you read my mind....

11-03-2006, 09:12 AM	#1
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Post Content vs Appearance Just out of interest: Would someone's appearance change the way you read/ responded to their posts? Following the various "Show Yourself" threads, people have responded - as is natural - approving of others' looks, calling them cute, saying they will flirt with them etc etc. Now I have posted pic/ video, because I'm desperately nosey and love to see what other people look like. Given the choice I'd like a tour of Dwellars houses, offices, their family tree and a sample of their children's handwriting to boot. Therefore I feel I should show if I look (learned at an early age obviously! But my question is, are we losing the one area where people are judged solely on their minds? And if we are, should we regret that? __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-03-2006, 10:08 AM	#4
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I love being able to put a face to the sensibilities. I love it because it teaches me not to judge a person, in this case neither on appearance nor presentation. Getting that moment of " I would have never thought they looked like that " is an ongoing education on a subject at which I frankly suck. That said, here are people whom I think look like their post content. rkzenrage foot3 yesman Ducks People for whom I had to adjust my preconceived image: Shawnee123 Griff Marichiko I'm sure there's more in each category, but I probably should try to do some actual work today... __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

11-03-2006, 10:12 AM	#5
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Cool. Now I'm so curious as to what your preconceived image was. This is neat because now I get to find out what my writing style conveys. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

11-03-2006, 10:18 AM	#6
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Hey - what bout me Elspode? I don't think my opinion of anyone has changed because I don't - and never have - judged on appearance. Not being holier-than thou I promise - I never get a mental picture of characters in books either, even when I am totally in love with them. My imagination doesn't run like that is all. And even seeing the pictures I will never remember who is who.... But I believe I am in the minority. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac Last edited by Sundae; 11-03-2006 at 10:40 AM.

11-03-2006, 10:35 AM	#7
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I am like you, Sundae. People just look like what they look like. I've been in situtuations trying to describe someone to someone else...if they ask something like "does he have a moustache?" I often don't know...their face is just their face, you know? __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

11-03-2006, 09:22 AM	#2
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Mmm.....good question. I have mixed feelings on this. Part of me wants to post a picture.....then again, I avoid going and looking at those posts because I don't want to know what people look like. I'd rather know how they percieve themselves to be. I never thought it would matter, but I had a salutary experience when in my gaming days. I had a friend, who played a really evil, but deeply suave character. He had huge charisma within the game, everyone was drawn to him. Naturally, I formed a mental image of him. Then I saw a picture of him. Now, it didn't in any way change my feelings of friendship towards him, but it did subtly alter the dynamic, when his physical appearance did not match the character he projected. I got over that quite quickly and reinstated that character in my understanding of him, but for a little while, it did get in the way a little.

11-03-2006, 10:48 AM	#8
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	I like seeing the pics, but I don't really make a connection between the persona and the image. If I have a preconception about someone's personality, I revert to that when I'm reading the post. I also suck at putting names with faces, IRL and online. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

11-03-2006, 11:48 AM	#12
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I do understand - I think that was what I was getting at. You get a "feel" for someone. And even then they can shock you with an opinion. But is that idea of them nailed into place by the visual? For example I have the Blackadder script book - I can't hear anyone but the actual actors in my head when I read it. BTW - thanks for the kind words Elspode - and I know with you the picture has nothing to do with it. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-03-2006, 01:50 PM	#14
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Absolutely not, girl! I think you're cuter than a bug's ear! No, I mean exactly what I said...that, although when I saw your pic, I thought, "gee, she doesn't look like I was expecting", I cannot say with any certainty what I was expecting. Griff nailed it, there, but now I'll forge on and try to elaborate at least a little more. Your writing style is very fresh, honest and open. I think I was expecting someone...well...younger. In no way am I disappointed with the fact that you seem to be a grown up in the pic. Quite the contrary; I think that when a person reaches a certain age (now, don't put me on the spot and ask me how old I think you are, 'cause that's just gonna go bad for both of us) and is still able to seem so open and lively, displaying few traces of bitterness or hostility about their lives...well, damn. That's cool. But it skews my preconceptions to the younger end of the age/appearance scale. I'm just digging myself into a really deep hole, here aren't I? How can I redeem myself? Um...you're very cute, Me talk you long time, love you many much long time. Yeah, that covers it, I hope. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

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