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Old 08-25-2007, 08:14 PM   #17
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
I already did rephrase it for you in the Bridge Collapses thread. To whit:

Quote:
Or even better, DanaC - rephrase that first paragraph to be political correct? You know what my point was. Post the rewrite.

ok.



Quote:
Demonstrated is a difference between what yesman065 saw and what I saw. That yellow school bus: time to worry about it was long ago when this failure was predictable. Whereas contents of that bus were immediate concern to those on the bridge, instead, the rest of us should be worrying about all school busses.

or

It's been pointed out that the eye is drawn immediately to the yellow school bus...the time to worry about that schoolbus was was long ago when this failure was predictable. Whereas contents of that bus were immediate concern to those on the bridge, instead, the rest of us should be worrying about all school buses.
Note in the second reworded paragraph that no one person is singled out as short sighted. Nor does the second paragraph raise the poster to the heights of good sense as yours does. In your paragraph you manage to both insult yesman and elevate yourself.
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