Scientific chat-up lines

ZenGum · 12-21-2007, 02:09 AM

New Scientist has just announced the winners of their competition to write science-based chat-up lines. Aside from variations of "Is that a mass spectrometer in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?", the winners were:

Quote:

Would there be any resistance if I asked to take you ohm?
(Emma Byrne, London, UK)

I love the way you smell so different from my dad.
(Toshi Knell, Nowra, New South Wales, Australia)

Would kissing you increase global warming and damage the Arctic irreversibly, or is it just enough to break the ice?
(Andy McCready, Sheffield, Yorkshire, UK)

I've had my ion you.
(Gary Duffala, Rio Rancho, New Mexico, US)

Baby, you must be a start codon because you are turnin' me on.
(Jessica Swanson, Stratford, Prince Edward Island, Canada)

I don't wish to brag, but in several parallel universes I invented the internet, warned the world about global warming, ran for president and won the Nobel peace prize.
(Yonatan Silver, Jerusalem, Israel)

Hello, I've just taken part in the clinical trial of a new drug to help memory loss; could you tell me, do I come here often?
(John French, Wellington, Somerset, UK)

You are definitely the woman of my REM phase.
(Giuliano Aluffi, Milan, Italy)

Er... hello... um... er. Oh look! Our shoes have similar spectral characteristics.
(Jon White, Rampton, Cambridgeshire, UK)

Meiosis?
(Kirstie Brogan Grace, Grays, Essex, UK)

I'm sure there have been chat-up line threads before but I'm too lazy to search for them.
Share your science-based chat up lines with us here.
And any other good, reliable, bad, outrageous, notorious or just plain funny chat up lines.

TheMercenary · 12-22-2007, 10:36 AM

Chat up?

Clodfobble · 12-22-2007, 10:56 AM

Australian = chat up line
American = pick-up line

ZenGum · 12-22-2007, 11:00 AM

Sorry.
I was following the language in new scientist which is British.
Australians use both versions.

So, want to come back to my office and see my socio-linguistic dissertations?

monster · 12-23-2007, 07:43 PM

Hmmmm.... about as successful as a thread as they would be in the bar.....

Kerotan · 12-23-2007, 08:44 PM

I defy all of you thinking that these are poor!

All of these would be brilliant, the trick to know the if the target is a geek, because quite frankly some asking you to explain what ohm or spectral meant while you were hitting on them would really cramp anyones style.

monster · 12-23-2007, 09:45 PM

but if your after another nerd, no need to chat 'em up......

Elspode · 12-24-2007, 02:07 PM

"Out of all the faces in the bar tonight, yours most closely approximates the Golden Ratio."

"I just can't take my olfactory bulb off of your pheromonal output."

Undertoad · 12-24-2007, 02:30 PM

Your appearance of overall health, fitness, and signals of post-adolescent maturity make you an excellent choice for mating. I am willing to preen myself for an equivalent psycho-biological ritualistic judgment on your behalf. Although I believe that the combination of our DNA would result in the improvement of our species, I am willing to attempt to prevent same through the use of a barrier device.

monster · 12-24-2007, 02:37 PM

Sundae · 12-24-2007, 05:21 PM

Actually I love the idea of personality-specific chat up lines.
Except mine would be literary and my most successful relationships have been with men in whom I awakened a love of reading, rather than those who already had it. Well certainly regarding poetry anyway.

Ah if only a man faced with fog would advocate looking for cat footprints, he'd make me swoon...

King · 12-26-2007, 06:33 PM

Quote:

You are definitely the woman of my REM phase.
(Giuliano Aluffi, Milan, Italy)

I guess I could try: "Your physical features conform very closely to the ratio of 1:1.618."

Nah.

Spexxvet · 12-26-2007, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Your appearance of overall health, fitness, and signals of post-adolescent maturity make you an excellent choice for mating. I am willing to preen myself for an equivalent psycho-biological ritualistic judgment on your behalf. Although I believe that the combination of our DNA would result in the improvement of our species, I am willing to attempt to prevent same through the use of a barrier device.

Spock, is that you?

classicman · 12-27-2007, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Spock, is that you?

Noooooo - its tw.:p

Frenger · 12-29-2007, 03:21 AM

"if i could be any enzyme i would be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes."

(prety sure its dna helicase...)

12-22-2007, 10:36 AM	#2
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Chat up? __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

12-22-2007, 11:00 AM	#4
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Sorry. I was following the language in new scientist which is British. Australians use both versions. So, want to come back to my office and see my socio-linguistic dissertations? __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

12-23-2007, 07:43 PM	#5
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Hmmmm.... about as successful as a thread as they would be in the bar..... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-23-2007, 08:44 PM	#6
Kerotan Half-Awesome Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 36	I defy all of you thinking that these are poor! All of these would be brilliant, the trick to know the if the target is a geek, because quite frankly some asking you to explain what ohm or spectral meant while you were hitting on them would really cramp anyones style. __________________ Is it possible to go off topic in a Philosophy forum? Answers on a postcard please.

12-23-2007, 09:45 PM	#7
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	but if your after another nerd, no need to chat 'em up...... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-22-2007, 10:56 AM	#3
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Australian = chat up line American = pick-up line

12-24-2007, 02:07 PM	#8
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	"Out of all the faces in the bar tonight, yours most closely approximates the Golden Ratio." "I just can't take my olfactory bulb off of your pheromonal output." __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

12-24-2007, 02:30 PM	#9
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Your appearance of overall health, fitness, and signals of post-adolescent maturity make you an excellent choice for mating. I am willing to preen myself for an equivalent psycho-biological ritualistic judgment on your behalf. Although I believe that the combination of our DNA would result in the improvement of our species, I am willing to attempt to prevent same through the use of a barrier device.

12-24-2007, 02:37 PM	#10
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	__________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-24-2007, 05:21 PM	#11
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Actually I love the idea of personality-specific chat up lines. Except mine would be literary and my most successful relationships have been with men in whom I awakened a love of reading, rather than those who already had it. Well certainly regarding poetry anyway. Ah if only a man faced with fog would advocate looking for cat footprints, he'd make me swoon... __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

12-29-2007, 03:21 AM	#15
Frenger skub Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Paris, France Posts: 18	"if i could be any enzyme i would be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes." (prety sure its dna helicase...)

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