Be a post whore!

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by DanaC

But don;t put yourself under mad pressure either. You'll get out from under it in your own time. You're already moving forward whether you realise it or not. Be kind to yourself. You're doing brilliantly.

This is so true, it bears another go round!

Sundae - LOOK at how far you've come! Everyday you don't succumb to demon rum is a freaking victory - everyday you GET UP out of bed is a victory! Dana is spot on the money - do not put yourself under mad pressure. No good decisions come from it, believe me. Slow and steady wins the prize and you ARE doing brilliantly. You are smiling now and again.

Moms do tend to have so much power over our feelings and I don't think they half realize it. I can recall things my mom or dad (or even sibs) said to me years ago that still sting. They said it most off-handedly and I'm sure they've no idea I still think about their words.

Love you, honey. You will survive this, you will thrive. You are one of the most intelligent people I know - and kind as doves.

Hearts and flowers to you, Sundae. You are a good soul in an iffy world.

[Aliantha]

I burnt my arm on the oven today, and yesterday I slipped over on the tiles outside our door and now have a sore back and a bruised knee and elbow. Max woke up a few times last night so on top of all that, I'm tired.

The good news is that the mud cakes I was baking have turned out very well.

I'm making a three tiered cake for my friends 40th birthday on Saturday. I'll post pics for those who are interested, when it's all done.

My uncle died the night before last. We will go to his funeral on Saturday also.

[capnhowdy]

Sorry, Ali.

[Aliantha]

It's ok. The burn will heal. My back will be fine, as will my knee and elbow, and my uncle was really old and he's at peace now.

Thanks for your thoughts though capn. You're very kind.

[skysidhe]

@ S.G. Maybe you can find a room for rent, or even in trade for being a nanny or an elder care live in.

If I was there or you here I would make room for you any day.
There is a way out of this. I know you'll find the way.

peace

@ Ali, I am glad you weren't hurt any more than you were. Ouchie!

[classicman]

Sorry to hear about your uncle passing. Hopefully he is at peace.

[Aliantha]

Thanks guys.

[morethanpretty]

@SG- I'm sorry you're goin through this tough time love.
Do not be pessimistic, you can make it through and succeed! I'm sorry I can't help more directly, but find a focus and stick to it. If its routine you need, then stick to that. At 8 wake up, eat breakfast, 815 take a shower, 845, pick up the newspaper, ect ect ect. If you get an apt near your parent's flat, mebbe you can still go over their frequently and make dinner. I know at some point you said you were enjoying doing that, so keep doin it. If you can find a job, even a low paying one and stick to one schedule there, that might be a great help. If thats not possible, find a volunteer position.
Right now I'm suffering because I only work part-time, and my college classes just ended 3weeks ago...I'm seriously at a loss with myself and can feel the depression creeping in. That's where my advice comes from.

I hope you find an apartment and get to enjoy the freedom of living on your own. *Big hugs*

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by classicman

Weren't you in a very similar situation before you went to live with your guy friend. Perhaps all you need is a place of your own without roomies.

Yes and no. I reached the Holy Grail of living alone in Leicester. I've posted photos of how that ended up. And Dana could certainly testify, although she's too good to.

Perhaps your mum, has a real poor communication style, but the biggest heart in the world. If you stop here and take out the inferred part that you wrote after this, I agree with her. If your goal is to eventually get a job, a place of your own and to become self sufficient...I think she is spot on.
There is no doubt that your mom loves you! Look at all the pics and the video you've posted here. Remember the christmas carol or more recently the walk you all just took? The video of your parents home... there are many. She only wants the best for you and you know that.

My Mum does love me. I am fully aware of this on an intellectual level. I don't feel loved on an emotioanl level though. I'm not whining, that's how it is. She's not someone I can confide in, trust, or believe that she will ever take my side. That's the way it is, but I certainly love her back.

As far as the "situation" at home... Hell my parents have been married over 50 years and they "argue" all the time. Part of what you may be seeing while living there is reality, not the fantasy world we all hope exists.

I won't give you details of their relationship, it's not fair on either of them. Suffice to say, if either were simply my friend I would be advising them to leave. It's not normal couple bickering, it's nasty put-downs, suppressed anger and point scoring. It's NOT constant. But right now she is stressed about her Aunt's house-sale, and it is very evident. I genuinely believe this is why she brought up me moving out. Yes, it is her right and yes it has to happen at some point. But the coincidence is she brought it up for the first time on a day she'd had bad news re the house sale and had had to call all her Aunts and Uncles to say there was a problem with it.

you'll have to remind her repeatedly 5, 10, 15 times a day - till she gets it. Just go up to her and just give her a hug and tell her "I love you, thanks for everything you & dad are doing for me."

If I did that even once a week she'd keep me at arm's length. Her immediate response would be. "Well that's all very well, but words don't mean anything... I want you to think about that when you are drinking" Being too emotional, too effusive, too open = fale, showing off, showing yourself up according to Mum. Yup, that works about as well as you'd expect with a daughter who wears her heart on her sleeve and likes to express herself.

Please know that I am trying to help.

I know. Which is why I wanted to respond. When people take the time to address with with me I think it's polite to reply. Sorry if it means I come across really negative. I don't mean to. My Mum runs a really organised house. It's what I needed when I moved back. She cleans, irons, organises, looks after friends, remembers anniversaries and special days. She's honest, dependable and generally kind. And I do love her, and most of the time I really enjoy her company.

Originally Posted by Brianna

Moms do tend to have so much power over our feelings and I don't think they half realize it. I can recall things my mom or dad (or even sibs) said to me years ago that still sting. They said it most off-handedly and I'm sure they've no idea I still think about their words.

You get it 100% Thank you. I hope therapy can help me stop blaming other people for the way I let them affect me, and allow me to feel the good rather than the hurt.

Originally Posted by Aliantha

My uncle died the night before last.

Sorry darling. I lost my Great Aunt over a year ago now, but I still mourn the fact she is no longer part of my family landscape.

Clod, Dani, Sky & MoreThan, thanks for your kind words.
Dorothy had is wrong. There was no need to go to Oz, she should've just got her pretty feet down the Cellar. There's no place like it.

[Aliantha]

So, why are you invisible people hiding?

Huh??? HUH??? HUUUUH??????

[ZenGum]

Ali, dem merkins goes to sleepies about now.

[Aliantha]

No, I was talking about how there were 8 people online before, but only two were on visible mode. The rest have all ticked the 'invisible' box in their profile.

[jinx]

We just had a thunder/lightening storm with hail the size of marbles. The kids were out trying to catch them.
Shit weather here, and still too sunburned from Sunday to work out... think I'll stay home and eat (tacos) all day.

[Undertoad]

I use my-cast.com to look at the moving radar on days like this. Radar is showing individual, quick-moving cells of really violent T-storms this afternoon. I can see where it went through your area at 14:30-14:40.

And oh look, there's one headed right for me! But it looks like it's breaking up.

[Undertoad]

Ooh, a really nasty cell hit just south of Gap, PA and west of Cochranville.

A lot of those Amish folks are going to be without electricity for a while.