In Memoriam

richlevy · 10-04-2006, 08:40 PM

Early Tuesday morning, a few hours after midnight, we got the news. Jeffrey's friend, Stephen, had been hit by a train and killed. Stephen was Jeffrey's best friend, ever since our families had gotten to know each other through school.

Stephen and Jeffrey both attended the same school for autistic students. We ran into his parents there a few times and finally got to know them as friends. Jeffrey and Stephen have been friends for about 7 years. Anyone from the Cellar who came to a BBQ at my house might have met him.

Stephen left the school for a different one, but came back for his last two years and was actually in Jeffrey's class for his last years. Being a year older, Stephen graduated last year. Since he was the only graduate that year, Stephen's parents had to push very hard for him to have a graduation ceremony.

He was a very nice kid. He was a little shy but always made the effort to smile and greet us when we visited. He enjoyed bowling in the local Special Olympics program and playing on the computer.

Yesterday, my wife drove Stephen's mom to his grandmother's house to deliver the news. Jeffrey went with them but my wife asked him to stay outside since we had not broken the news to Jeff yet. When I got home from work in the evening, we broke the news to Jeffrey.

Jeffrey has been to the funerals of relatives, but not ones who were very close. This was probably the closest person to him he has ever lost. We explained that Stephen was killed and had gone to Heaven. Jeffrey began to process this by self-talking, listing relatives and famous people who had died along with when they died or how many years they have been gone. So one of his great uncles was mentioned along with Chris Farley, Jim Morrison, and Ray Combs (host of Family Feud) as well as other relatives and celebrities.

He went up to his room, self talked for a while, and came down and asked some more questions. He seems ok for now and has been asking his mother questions while I was at work. He seems to be taking it pretty well for now.

Beestie · 10-04-2006, 08:54 PM

I'm sorry to hear that Rich. Hope Jeffrey makes it through this ok.

footfootfoot · 10-04-2006, 09:09 PM

That is terribly sad. I'm very sorry for your family's loss. Jeffrey is lucky he has such thoughtful parents.

zippyt · 10-04-2006, 09:10 PM

Sorry to hear about this Rich ,

Elspode · 10-04-2006, 10:10 PM

Condolences to the family who lost their child, and to you and yours. Autism is a difficult enough thing, and tragedy must make it that much more so. Life is a hard teacher.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-04-2006, 10:58 PM

Is that the kid I took for a ride in my truck, Rich?
I feel bad for Jeff, also, but I know you're on top of it. He's got a first class....make that all class, support system.

richlevy · 10-04-2006, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Is that the kid I took for a ride in my truck, Rich?
I feel bad for Jeff, also, but I know you're on top of it. He's got a first class....make that all class, support system.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Actually, the Steven you gave for a ride was a different Steven. There were two autistic kids named Steven and Stephen at the party.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-04-2006, 11:06 PM

Thanks, not that it makes it any less sad.

Rock Steady · 10-05-2006, 12:05 AM

So sad. I am nearly speechless, yet many threads of thought run thru my mind. I second all of the other posters here. I know several young people that had close calls with trains.

morethanpretty · 10-05-2006, 12:44 AM

I am sorry for the loss of Stephen. With your guidence and love I am sure Jeffery will be able to get through this.

slang · 10-05-2006, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richlevy

Jeffrey's friend, Stephen, had been hit by a train and killed.

I'm very sorry for the loss of Stephen. That has to be tough for Jeffrey and despite my reputation of being completely insensitive here, I feel bad for him.

Griff · 10-05-2006, 06:17 AM

I'm very sorry to here this Rich. I'm glad that Jeffrey is working on processing it though. It sounds like you're doing a great job supporting him.

Spexxvet · 10-05-2006, 07:55 AM

That's very sad. My sympathy for everyone involved.

Undertoad · 10-05-2006, 07:58 AM

Jeffrey is lucky indeed to have such a deeply caring and concerned father.

Trilby · 10-05-2006, 08:08 AM

My heart goes out to you and yours and to the family of Stephen. So sad, rich.

10-04-2006, 08:40 PM	#1
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	In Memoriam Early Tuesday morning, a few hours after midnight, we got the news. Jeffrey's friend, Stephen, had been hit by a train and killed. Stephen was Jeffrey's best friend, ever since our families had gotten to know each other through school. Stephen and Jeffrey both attended the same school for autistic students. We ran into his parents there a few times and finally got to know them as friends. Jeffrey and Stephen have been friends for about 7 years. Anyone from the Cellar who came to a BBQ at my house might have met him. Stephen left the school for a different one, but came back for his last two years and was actually in Jeffrey's class for his last years. Being a year older, Stephen graduated last year. Since he was the only graduate that year, Stephen's parents had to push very hard for him to have a graduation ceremony. He was a very nice kid. He was a little shy but always made the effort to smile and greet us when we visited. He enjoyed bowling in the local Special Olympics program and playing on the computer. Yesterday, my wife drove Stephen's mom to his grandmother's house to deliver the news. Jeffrey went with them but my wife asked him to stay outside since we had not broken the news to Jeff yet. When I got home from work in the evening, we broke the news to Jeffrey. Jeffrey has been to the funerals of relatives, but not ones who were very close. This was probably the closest person to him he has ever lost. We explained that Stephen was killed and had gone to Heaven. Jeffrey began to process this by self-talking, listing relatives and famous people who had died along with when they died or how many years they have been gone. So one of his great uncles was mentioned along with Chris Farley, Jim Morrison, and Ray Combs (host of Family Feud) as well as other relatives and celebrities. He went up to his room, self talked for a while, and came down and asked some more questions. He seems ok for now and has been asking his mother questions while I was at work. He seems to be taking it pretty well for now. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

10-04-2006, 08:54 PM	#2
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	I'm sorry to hear that Rich. Hope Jeffrey makes it through this ok. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

10-04-2006, 09:09 PM	#3
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	That is terribly sad. I'm very sorry for your family's loss. Jeffrey is lucky he has such thoughtful parents. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-04-2006, 09:10 PM	#4
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Sorry to hear about this Rich , __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

10-04-2006, 10:10 PM	#5
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Condolences to the family who lost their child, and to you and yours. Autism is a difficult enough thing, and tragedy must make it that much more so. Life is a hard teacher. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-04-2006, 10:58 PM	#6
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Is that the kid I took for a ride in my truck, Rich? I feel bad for Jeff, also, but I know you're on top of it. He's got a first class....make that all class, support system. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-04-2006, 11:06 PM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Thanks, not that it makes it any less sad. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-05-2006, 12:05 AM	#9
Rock Steady Day Tripper Join Date: May 2005 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 784	So sad. I am nearly speechless, yet many threads of thought run thru my mind. I second all of the other posters here. I know several young people that had close calls with trains. __________________

10-05-2006, 12:44 AM	#10
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	I am sorry for the loss of Stephen. With your guidence and love I am sure Jeffery will be able to get through this. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

10-05-2006, 06:17 AM	#12
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I'm very sorry to here this Rich. I'm glad that Jeffrey is working on processing it though. It sounds like you're doing a great job supporting him. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-05-2006, 07:55 AM	#13
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	That's very sad. My sympathy for everyone involved. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

10-05-2006, 07:58 AM	#14
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Jeffrey is lucky indeed to have such a deeply caring and concerned father.

10-05-2006, 08:08 AM	#15
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	My heart goes out to you and yours and to the family of Stephen. So sad, rich. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

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