Job burnout - Page 2

SteveDallas · 05-03-2007, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I think "great, just one more thing where people can think 'just pick yourself up by the boot straps, wimp'"

Yep, you're right. Recently I've gotten more and more distressed by the "say your happy, and you'll be happy" school of "thought."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Why doesn't the VP of our department, a licensed counselor, who SEES but refuses to SEE (presumably because I am not one of her minions) try to offer assistance?

How do you know she sees? At any rate, as your department head, she should certainly NOT try to give you any counseling--it's just not a good idea when there is a pre-existing close relationship of some kind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I am in treatment for depression. That is a long time chronic concern. But I used to find a lot of joy in my job.

Wait, hold up. How does this fit in?? What's going on here? (I'm not asking you to vent publicly, but you have to figure it out.) IMVHO, it would be a mistake to address your job/burnout issues without some input from whoever is treating you for depression. Your worst case scenario is that your symptoms are driven by your depression and you will have the same problems in a new job, no matter how good that job is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I have plenty of time off coming

Check the rules carefully... at most places, in the event that you do quit, they will have to pay you off for the value of any earned but unused vacation time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

but knowing it's going to be hard to find a replacement for this low paying, stressful job.

All the more reason you should seriosuly consider bailing. At the moment you're simply rewarding her behavior.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Plus, my parents who are already worried about me would be even more worried. Still, when I mention my job stress to my mom I KNOW what she's thinking: all jobs are stressful. I started working at 13 years old. i know about stress...but nothing has ever been like this.

Yes, it's so true... people will just say, "oh, don't be so negative!" But forget it.. if you think bailing out is the right thing to do, you need to do it.. and not worry about how it will affect your mom and her perception of you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I wish I didn't still feel this base loyalty. I feel I own my job, you know? I've always taken pride in my work.

And your pride and loyalty do you credit. But it sounds like your boss doesn't deserve them. What you need to decide is, do you just have a problem with your boss/department? Or is it the institution as a whole? If the answer is B, you really do need some kind of exit strategy. (And I know that's easier said than done. Looking for a job is hard work, and it's difficult to do when you're being drained by an existing job, and a problematic emotional/psychological situation.) If the answer is A, and you really feel loyalty to the institution, then you should consider carefully if you want to complain to your HR office, with an eye toward a transfer to another department.

So I would say, don't decide that you can't afford to quit until you find out exactly how much $$ you have coming to you for your unused vacation time. Also, in the situation you describe, your boss will suffer greatly from your leaving, and will have a hard time finding a replacement. These may sound like cold comfort now. But if you do it, I promise you'll derive a surprising amount of pleasure from the situation. It won't pay the bills but it'll do wonders for your morale.

pourbill · 05-03-2007, 11:25 AM

When I first read the tirade I thought maybe a job change to astronaut could be in order for Shawnee but she seems like she needs support more than sarcasm. I understand her feelings of loyality. Most of us identify with our jobs a lot more than we realize. If someone asks who we are we tend to respond in terms of what we "do" "I'm a minister" instead of "what" we are "I'm an aging, overweight, white, agnostic male". It becomes a powerful (as well as econically necessary) part of our existance.

bbro · 05-03-2007, 11:45 AM

In addition to temp agencies, you could also call up some consulting companies. I am not sure where you are, but they do pay well and have a better chance of giving you benefits right off the bat. I am not sure about Manpower, but the temp agency I used to work for only offered it after like 6 months of straight work.

Just an idea - I know how you feel, but one thing you have to keep in mind is that you cannot let the job rule your life. It isn't your life, it is just a job. No one will die if you take some time for yourself. The only one that will be hurting will be you. Hope you work it all out.

Dagney · 05-03-2007, 12:04 PM

Shawnee - I know where you're coming from, having been in a very similar place. When your job starts to affect your personal life, it's time to review where you are and where you're headed.

For me, it meant giving notice on a Monday, and when the abuse kept up on Tuesday, walking out of the office and not looking back. I understand the financial concerns, because they were huge for me as well - but I would recommend taking Clod's advice, taking a day or three off, and hitting up the local temp agencies.

There are other jobs out there. There is only ONE you.

Shawnee123 · 05-03-2007, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pourbill

When I first read the tirade I thought maybe a job change to astronaut could be in order for Shawnee.

It might be too late for my real dream jobs: Astronaut or Fireman or Cowboy. Sigh... Pirates can be pretty old, can't they?

Trilby · 05-03-2007, 03:52 PM

Sorry, haven't read every response here but wonder: Shawnee, do you have a doc? A GP or a Psych? Anyway, either one can fill out the papers for Medical Leave of Absence. Perhaps you could get MLA and then decompress enough to figure out what you NEED to do. If you worry about your job while on MLA there still is FMLA to protect you. You sound exactly (though, of course, way more eloquent) like me a few years ago. I was getting paranoid. Very paranoid. It was either ME or the JOB. I know (Lord, do I know) how entangled we get with JOB=ME thinking. ya know what? fuck that. I'd rather be a happy waitress with an English degree than a miserable Rn making lots of money.

FYI--I used to live on 58,000 a year. Now I live on 20,000 a year and I've only sacrificed a BIT. (well, ok. I desperately need a car and things for the house, but, hey, I needed those things when I was making money and never did follow thru with it) YOU CAN DO IT! You really can.

Cloud · 05-03-2007, 03:58 PM

YOU are more important than any job.

Shawnee123 · 05-03-2007, 04:14 PM

Thanks Bri...I always enjoy your opinions because you do seem to have gone through a lot of the same things.

ON the other hand, knowing how short-staffed we are, there is NO WAY I could be off for an extended period of time without them making some arrangements. We are WAY understaffed as it is, and that loyalty kicks back in that I don't want to make everyone else miserable. Of course, I've been on the receiving end of this many times. It's funny when I hear of schools who have one person doing verifications, one person pulling in and analyzing and comparing FAFSA information, one person administering scholarships, others who counsel, someone who reports disbursements to the Dept of Ed (and reconciles those to the penny...millions of doleros.) Someone to determine state awards. I do all those things and more. My coworkers have as much on their plates. They turned down our proposal for a new staff person (bad budget, bad bad budget, they all lament.) Never mind that the number of students processed increases in leaps and bounds each year.

Anyway, here I go again. I would like to stay in the public employee sector (the bennies are pretty good) and work for the state or city. I need to really look into options.

But, if I don't get some relief soon, I may be taking medical leave without pre-planning it.

By the way, Bri...you rock, but you don't post enough! :p

Trilby · 05-03-2007, 05:09 PM

They are short-staffed and would need to make arrangements? Well, your manager is a Big Girl, and, if we are to believe that she deserves her exalted position and bloated pay, she should be ready to make those kinds of "arragements"---let her do her job.

An MLA is pretty much bullet-proof. PM me for more details.

Undertoad · 05-03-2007, 05:14 PM

It's always fun when you find out later that they replaced you with two people.

bluecuracao · 05-03-2007, 05:44 PM

It's even more fun when they don't replace you at all.

But then there's the place that gets fired from their contract after you leave.

SteveDallas · 05-03-2007, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

It's always fun when you find out later that they replaced you with two people.

Yeah, well, in my case it took them a year after I left to break down and decide to do that.

elSicomoro · 05-04-2007, 08:20 AM

I found out recently that the last company I worked for in Philly (Radian) was sold to one of its competitors (MGIC). While I feel bad for all the people that will lose their jobs, it brought a smile to my face. That company couldn't make up its mind what it wanted to do and didn't have the management to straighten it out.

Hyoi · 05-04-2007, 10:21 AM

I have plenty of time off coming, but if I mention taking time off my boss has not acted like she liked the idea (again, the fact that I may have a complete breakdown at any moment seems irrelevant to the fact that there is work to do.).......Shawnee123

Take it....take all of it. Screw the boss and the horse she rode in on.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-07-2007, 03:36 PM

But save one day for graduation.

05-03-2007, 11:25 AM	#17
pourbill Do-er of Deeds Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: washington, missouri Posts: 41	When I first read the tirade I thought maybe a job change to astronaut could be in order for Shawnee but she seems like she needs support more than sarcasm. I understand her feelings of loyality. Most of us identify with our jobs a lot more than we realize. If someone asks who we are we tend to respond in terms of what we "do" "I'm a minister" instead of "what" we are "I'm an aging, overweight, white, agnostic male". It becomes a powerful (as well as econically necessary) part of our existance. __________________ We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails

05-03-2007, 12:04 PM	#19
Dagney The Prodigal Brat Returneth Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 1,107	Shawnee - I know where you're coming from, having been in a very similar place. When your job starts to affect your personal life, it's time to review where you are and where you're headed. For me, it meant giving notice on a Monday, and when the abuse kept up on Tuesday, walking out of the office and not looking back. I understand the financial concerns, because they were huge for me as well - but I would recommend taking Clod's advice, taking a day or three off, and hitting up the local temp agencies. There are other jobs out there. There is only ONE you. __________________ The Constitution gives every American the right to make a total fool out of himself. But that doesn't mean you need to.

05-03-2007, 03:52 PM	#21
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Sorry, haven't read every response here but wonder: Shawnee, do you have a doc? A GP or a Psych? Anyway, either one can fill out the papers for Medical Leave of Absence. Perhaps you could get MLA and then decompress enough to figure out what you NEED to do. If you worry about your job while on MLA there still is FMLA to protect you. You sound exactly (though, of course, way more eloquent) like me a few years ago. I was getting paranoid. Very paranoid. It was either ME or the JOB. I know (Lord, do I know) how entangled we get with JOB=ME thinking. ya know what? fuck that. I'd rather be a happy waitress with an English degree than a miserable Rn making lots of money. FYI--I used to live on 58,000 a year. Now I live on 20,000 a year and I've only sacrificed a BIT. (well, ok. I desperately need a car and things for the house, but, hey, I needed those things when I was making money and never did follow thru with it) YOU CAN DO IT! You really can. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-03-2007, 03:58 PM	#22
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	YOU are more important than any job. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-03-2007, 04:14 PM	#23
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Thanks Bri...I always enjoy your opinions because you do seem to have gone through a lot of the same things. ON the other hand, knowing how short-staffed we are, there is NO WAY I could be off for an extended period of time without them making some arrangements. We are WAY understaffed as it is, and that loyalty kicks back in that I don't want to make everyone else miserable. Of course, I've been on the receiving end of this many times. It's funny when I hear of schools who have one person doing verifications, one person pulling in and analyzing and comparing FAFSA information, one person administering scholarships, others who counsel, someone who reports disbursements to the Dept of Ed (and reconciles those to the penny...millions of doleros.) Someone to determine state awards. I do all those things and more. My coworkers have as much on their plates. They turned down our proposal for a new staff person (bad budget, bad bad budget, they all lament.) Never mind that the number of students processed increases in leaps and bounds each year. Anyway, here I go again. I would like to stay in the public employee sector (the bennies are pretty good) and work for the state or city. I need to really look into options. But, if I don't get some relief soon, I may be taking medical leave without pre-planning it. By the way, Bri...you rock, but you don't post enough! :p __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-03-2007, 11:45 AM	#18
bbro Insert witty comment here Join Date: May 2004 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 2,182	In addition to temp agencies, you could also call up some consulting companies. I am not sure where you are, but they do pay well and have a better chance of giving you benefits right off the bat. I am not sure about Manpower, but the temp agency I used to work for only offered it after like 6 months of straight work. Just an idea - I know how you feel, but one thing you have to keep in mind is that you cannot let the job rule your life. It isn't your life, it is just a job. No one will die if you take some time for yourself. The only one that will be hurting will be you. Hope you work it all out.

05-03-2007, 05:09 PM	#24
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	They are short-staffed and would need to make arrangements? Well, your manager is a Big Girl, and, if we are to believe that she deserves her exalted position and bloated pay, she should be ready to make those kinds of "arragements"---let her do her job. An MLA is pretty much bullet-proof. PM me for more details. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-03-2007, 05:14 PM	#25
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	It's always fun when you find out later that they replaced you with two people.

05-03-2007, 05:44 PM	#26
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	It's even more fun when they don't replace you at all. But then there's the place that gets fired from their contract after you leave.

05-04-2007, 08:20 AM	#28
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I found out recently that the last company I worked for in Philly (Radian) was sold to one of its competitors (MGIC). While I feel bad for all the people that will lose their jobs, it brought a smile to my face. That company couldn't make up its mind what it wanted to do and didn't have the management to straighten it out.

05-04-2007, 10:21 AM	#29
Hyoi Faithful Companion Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 188	I have plenty of time off coming, but if I mention taking time off my boss has not acted like she liked the idea (again, the fact that I may have a complete breakdown at any moment seems irrelevant to the fact that there is work to do.).......Shawnee123 Take it....take all of it. Screw the boss and the horse she rode in on. __________________ When you stop trying to make sense of it all, it all begins to make sense.

05-07-2007, 03:36 PM	#30
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	But save one day for graduation. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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