Why am I such farked in the head??

[Stormieweather]

Of course you can stop yourself...once you know why you're doing what you're doing.

The first step is awareness that you are behaving self-destructively and you've already achieved that. Next, you probably want to look at why you are afraid of/uninterested in being involved with this really nice, attractive guy.

Is it possible there are red flags with this guy that you haven't yet acknowledged? Could your subconcious mind know he isn't ultimately good for you so you act in such a way as to drive him away?

Maybe you really don't want to settle down. Maybe you're perfectly happy living the single life and anyone who looks too good is settle-down material. Maybe finding Mr. Right is something your family and friends think you 'should' do but is not what you really want, so you subconciously try to ruin any potential relationship with Mr. Right.

Could be that you have low self-esteem and therefore believe that you don't 'deserve' a really nice guy. Maybe you're afraid of being rejected once he gets to know you intimately, so you figure you'll run him off now...before you get emotionally involved.?

I have no idea what the reason(s) could be, merely suggesting possibilities. But once you uncover the root of your behavior, it is much easier to change your actions.

Stormie