Religious group teaches unusual sex-ed lessons in Maryland PUBLIC schools

I say we just take a lil Jesus doll an a lil Barbie, strip em' down for tha kiddies, lower tha lights a bit, put on some Barry and let em' have at it!
Well, around it, as it were...
Jesus never calls Barbie back, we pretend that her friends won't speak to her and she now works at a crappy clerical job and only goes to a "special" high school that is really just a glorified co-op day care for other knocked-up teens.
Then lil down syndrome strawberry shortcake pops out (Jesus was on tha' crystal don't cha' know) and the state has to help her and her mother raise her.
This ends-up giving her purpose in life and she gets her degree in ten years but marries an abusive ex-Gi Joe who drinks all her savings and eventually, money, away... the saga continues.