My F'd Up Past - and Future Hope

[Sundae]

Got my debtline pack through yesterday.
Have drafted the letters today, finding all the addresses (I hope) online.

I'm currently debating whether to wait til Monday when I can buy printing paper, stamps and envelopes to post them, or setting up a new email account and mailing them from there.

I think I'm going to go with the letters. It's not procrastination - I really don't have a penny in my purse (gave my last 63p to a young lad who gave me a sob story about needing his busfare home - he did have a broken foot and I figured he was worse off than me - and 63p doesn't buy a lot of hard drugs afer all). My worry is that if I send things by email, I will just ignore the replies. I know me - not very brave.

Whereas post, here at least, has to be opened. HM's beady eye will be on me if I don't.

Had a disagreement with HM last night actually. I came home with a flyer for a Halloween Event at Charlton House and asked if he was interested. The tickets are £10 each, but he didn't know if he'll be around on the day. I said, "I might go anyway" and he told me off, saying it stuck in his craw that I would consider paying £10 to go to something ("it's a lot of money for an event") when only a week ago I was suicidal over my debts.

Which I thought was very unfair (it's £2.50 a week between now and then) and callous, throwing my complete meltdown back in my face. And £10 is not going to make a shred of difference to anyone I owe money to.

But I'm here at his sufferance, so I have to accept his pov on some things. He's annoyed at my irresponsibility I suppose, and I can't argue with that. But if he is working away on that date I'll be sorely tempted... I love Halloween and hauntings and ghost stories!