The survivors thread

[DanaC]

In a recent discussion about dealing with raw and potentially upsetting emotions (a fairly wide brief in the end) which spun off from an experience of Tiki's, she asked me to clarify how I'd dealt with difficult times. I didn't go into much detail atthe time because a) I was in a slightly impatient mood and would not have been able to explain myself well; and b) I wanted to give it more thought. It's not easy to put into concrete terms (language) something which is as fundamentally intangible, and elastic as a mode of thinking; particularly when said mode has been arrived at by a combination of trial, error, conscious effort, accidental discovery and an occasional helpful instinct.

So...I've been mulling it over, as is my wont, and it occurred to me that, as was clear in that thread, most people arrive at their own peculiar compact with the world and their self and as such develop a unique set of coping tools with which to meet whatever demons they collect along the way. For some those tools are an occasional necessity, for others they are a survival pack, ever present and primed. It all depends on what the journey's like.

So this is an invitation, from one survivor to the rest, you know who you are. How'd you do it? How did you find that elusive gift: peace of mind? Or did you just find a way to make the chaos stop? Did you redraw who you were, choose your new identity? Or was the answer to stop caring so much? Did you seek solace in other people, or find your salvation in solitude? Did you read, did you study, or did you make it up as you went? Self-help by a book, or alone in your own head?

Did you find a way to forgive yourself? Have you reconciled who you are with who you've been?

And when turmoil finds you again; when the malestrom hits and wounds are re-opened, how do you defend your hard won peace? When you find yourself sitting 3am vigils and your thoughts are far from peaceful, how do you find that calm centre again?

I realise as yet, I havent really shared anything of how I coped/cope with emotional turmoil, but I'm getting bored with the sound of my own voice now. I'll post more later. In the meantime, the invitation stands to the other survivors.