Losing my religion.

[perth]

Thanks to REM for the unoriginal title.

Most of you know that I lost my sister some months back to a very small cyst at the base of her brain. This event, for some bizarre reason, strengthened my belief in a higher power, specifically, God.

But now that I've had time to think about it...

I think juju said it best when he said "religion is a bunch of fucking bunk". I might have gotten the words wrong, but its close enough. I am sick of being told that my sister's death was part of God's plan, and I'm appalled when I get accused of "presuming to question God" when I want to know where exactly it fits in with his little "plan".

In the past, when I engaged in debate over religion, I found myself defending the people. I could not understand the venom felt toward christians in general. I tried not to be an asshole about my beliefs. Surely most other christians behave the same way. Boy was I wrong.

When I found myself questioning my beliefs, rather than the nurturing and support I might hope for from fellow christians, I found judgement and scorn. Since when do christians get to preach the teachings of the bible but not follow it? "Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone", anyone?

But I guess that's neither here nor there at this point. Whit challenged my beliefs once, and I did a terrible job explaining them, because they were not well fleshed out. I think I have got it figured out now.

There is no God. God has no "Plan".

Christians are a bunch of people who excuse their poor behaviour and attitudes by claiming divine forgiveness documented in a book which tells them to behave exactly the opposite of the way they do.

There are exceptions to this rule, of course. There are christians out there who truly are humble, and model their lives after the Jesus', as depicted in the new testament. But they are not nearly as common as I once believed. But I still think they are wrong.

It was really hard to admit this all to myself, and it was even harder to write (type) it and post it for the world to see. But I am glad I did. I feel better now.

~James