For discussion: If you were a pedophile

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I am watching this with interest and thinking, although I am disinclined to debate. I really don't know what I believe, other than everyone is making good points here, and it's a difficult and complex question. I suppose I should do some reading on the subject, but it's not easy to read such things--there are certainly some horrific crimes perpetrated on innocent children.

I think only in the past 20 years or so has the subject even been addressed in our society. Most people, unless they are directly affected, chose not to think about pedophila, It's not a particularly pleasant topic. But how many of us are not affected, really? I think it's widespread; much more prevalent than we realized. Further, I think it's been a part of many societies over many thousands of years, even as cultural institutions, so it's stupid to ignore it or demonize it in an unthinking way. That means we have to deal with it. It is also a very emotional topic (as has been amply shown already in this thread); especially if you are directly affected.

I believe there are some very evil men who have this orientation, but I question an automatic condemnation of every person who has leanings this way to death as a heinous criminal. Once sat on a jury which had to sentence an 18 y.o. man who had fondled some young girls on a playground. It wasn't horrible, as such things go, but it was clear that this was a "first offender" situation. In the end, we chose to give a light sentence, as he was remorseful, agreed to therapy, and had family support. But it was a tough decision. ETA: He wasn't a criminal, he was a man struggling with a compulsion. And, no, the death penalty wasn't an option.

Additionally, through my work, I am involved, in defense of a church in priest/minor sexual abuse cases. There have been quite a few, and most churches are experiencing this. I certainly do not believe that these men were, or at least started out, evil, so that's why I made the remark about dissociating yourself. The only way I can think of for these religious to prey on children in direct contravention to everything they believe would be to completely turn off the mind. I'm no stranger to wrong thinking this way, but that to me, is mental illness.

BTW, in relation to the abuse lawsuits, there are some that are pretty sad; but also some that are pretty ridiculous, in which the plaintiffs blame every screw up in their lives, on a relatively minor incident, which is b.s. (It couldn't possibly be their abusive upbringing, their alcohol or drug abuse, depression, or other causes.)

So, anyway, um. . . thanks for commenting everyone. And I'll continue to be thinking about the topic. Probably forever. ETA. Sexual abuse has touched my life in other, more personal ways, so I have to find a way to deal with it as it comes. My wish is for none of you or yours to have serious emotional consequences from any of this stuff.