Relationship dependency

Riddil · 11-25-2003, 04:04 PM

Ok, well everyone knows there are varying degrees of being a dependent/independent person when it comes to relationships. I've had friends that run from one relationship to the next as fast as possible b/c they can't stand being single for even a week. And then you have people like myself, where if you wind up being unattached for 6 months (or more) it doesn't bother you in the slightest.

Welp, I've been in my current relationship for just over 3 months. So pretty much right on schedule the "honeymoon" has worn off, and we're at that stage where those little things that never used to bother us suddenly seem like the most important thing in the world.

I, of course, enjoy complaining about all of these things to my friends. (I thrive on melodrama, and besides it sounds silly to complain to your GF, "Do I have to sit and talk to your parents for a whole hour this afternoon? Football is on.")

Anyhow, what I find amusing in the responses I've gotten back is that I've heard the same intended sentiment expressed in totally different ways...

My older friends (50+) always say it this way...
"Well, just measure the relationship, are you happier with her, or would you be happier alone? If you you're happier with her, then stay."

But all of my younger friends (25-35) all say...
"If you think that you could be happier with someone else and she's not at the level you're looking for, then you should leave her so that you will have the opportunity to be with that better person, and won't miss the window b/c you're stuck in a mediocre relationship."

(There is no one theme with the middle-aged friend's responses)

Anyhow... I find it amusing in that they are very different themes behind the two stances. I'm not sure how to judge the motivation behind them...

1) Is it a contrast between a dependent personality trait vs. an independent trait?

or

2) Is it a contrast between traditional relationship value (ie, work it out) vs. contemporary relationship values (ie, trade off your current fling when they begin to bore you)

I just really find it amusing that there is such a strong division between generations in how they approach relationships.

Thoughts?

11-25-2003, 04:04 PM	#1
Riddil Management Consultant Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 165	Relationship dependency Ok, well everyone knows there are varying degrees of being a dependent/independent person when it comes to relationships. I've had friends that run from one relationship to the next as fast as possible b/c they can't stand being single for even a week. And then you have people like myself, where if you wind up being unattached for 6 months (or more) it doesn't bother you in the slightest. Welp, I've been in my current relationship for just over 3 months. So pretty much right on schedule the "honeymoon" has worn off, and we're at that stage where those little things that never used to bother us suddenly seem like the most important thing in the world. I, of course, enjoy complaining about all of these things to my friends. (I thrive on melodrama, and besides it sounds silly to complain to your GF, "Do I have to sit and talk to your parents for a whole hour this afternoon? Football is on.") Anyhow, what I find amusing in the responses I've gotten back is that I've heard the same intended sentiment expressed in totally different ways... My older friends (50+) always say it this way... "Well, just measure the relationship, are you happier with her, or would you be happier alone? If you you're happier with her, then stay." But all of my younger friends (25-35) all say... "If you think that you could be happier with someone else and she's not at the level you're looking for, then you should leave her so that you will have the opportunity to be with that better person, and won't miss the window b/c you're stuck in a mediocre relationship." (There is no one theme with the middle-aged friend's responses) Anyhow... I find it amusing in that they are very different themes behind the two stances. I'm not sure how to judge the motivation behind them... 1) Is it a contrast between a dependent personality trait vs. an independent trait? or 2) Is it a contrast between traditional relationship value (ie, work it out) vs. contemporary relationship values (ie, trade off your current fling when they begin to bore you) I just really find it amusing that there is such a strong division between generations in how they approach relationships. Thoughts?

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