The Power of Now

[lumberjim]

I've noticed before that when I feel sad or depressed, or jealous, or grief that I somehow want to continue. I don't want to be cheered up. I don't want to be mollified.

I always thought that maybe I had some defect that made me want to punish myself for something. Or some invisible compulsion that caused me to create situations that caused me to be in trouble.

Giving it a 'body' as Tolle does makes it possible to see it as separate from myself, and thus changeable. If it's not actually a part of me, then it's not me. It's just something I do. I can fix that when I notice myself doing it. Tolle promotes constant presence to watch for it. I'm not even close to that at this point... but I have been able, lately, to recognize when I'm allowing my current situation to spin my emotions up into knots. It's not easy, but if I concentrate, and breathe deeply for a few moments, I can bring myself out of the spiral of remorse for the past, and dread of the future... and dig my claws into the present moment. It's getting me through the day, at least.