Goodnight my little wolf

[DanaC]

I honestly cannot see me making it to March without a puppy. I'm already locked into scouring breeder ad sites. Had to just stop myself picking up the phone for a litter that's ready now in Swansea.

Stopped myself because part of the reason I was drawn to them was that one of them looks just like Pilau as a puppy. Feels like fate...which is ridiculous magical thinking. I am currently forcing myself to wait.

That said, I daresay mum or J or Our Kid would be willing to look after the pup for a couple of nights while I go away.

's possible of course that as life settles down into some kind of normalcy the draw will lessen and I may end up waiting after all.

But in the entire eight years that J and I lived without a dog, I never ever stopped feeling that there was a dog shaped hole in my life. I was one of those sad people who used to buy dog magazines to pore over puppy pics and dream of having my own dog. And think up possible names for future dogs.

Over the last few months during Pil's decline, I reassured myself by imagining his successor sometimes. Which was also partly about remembering his puppyhood.

Me without a dog just doesn't feel right. Never did.