I am done

[orthodoc]

My job has been offered to one of my fellow residents. The job in smalltown, that is - developing the Occ Med department at the county hospital, the job I did for six months before starting residency and in December was given verbal assurance would be mine next July, contract to be written up this spring and per diem work through the next year to consult on the building of the new clinic; income and benefits that would care for my medical condition (hopefully not necessary).

My colleague finishes in June; July 2013 is clearly a better short-term solution for the county hospital than July 2014, even though my fellow resident has no intention of staying more than a couple of years. He sees smalltown as a place to save some money before heading off to better places and things. He's a nice fellow, nothing against him personally.

Could this have anything to do with the fact that smalltown hospital knows I have cancer? Noooo .... no way to prove it, anyway.

I can change my rotations to work toward doing consultant work, and it might work out better for me in the long run. Less stress, less hurry. But working in a situation with social contact, and in a professional milieu, was something I was looking forward to. It sounds pathetic at this stage of my life but a little professional recognition was going to be welcome.

It is what it is, and life is what it is. Enough said.

No more investment, no more worry. From here on in I simply observe. I am done caring.