Getting all my shit in one sock

[footfootfoot]

Never one to do things in half measures I've set some very ambitious goals for myself, even by my standards. I've come to realize that in order to accomplish them I need to cultivate and apply a level of self discipline that I've honestly never really had. I've always been a wait until the 11th hour and then cram like hell and meet the deadline with seconds to spare, or charm my way through missing the deadline by a few minutes, kind of guy. Being 52 and deciding that I must create a new career for myself, and one that requires going back to school for at least two or three semesters is a life-size manifestation of that 'last minute cramming.'

Concurrent and entwined with that, is my simmering brewing plan. What I'm seeing is that I have to scale way, way back on fucking around and I need to start acting more like someone who wants to succeed.

I need to start going to bed early enough that I get a good night's rest so my brain functions, I need to stay on top of things like my laundry and ironing so that I am ready to go to meetings without racing around at the last minute trying to find clean socks or an unwrinkled shirt, make sure I've got all my shit in one sock, essentially.

I've got no idea how to actually do that kind of stuff, though I know it needs to be done. I've printed out yet another Day Planner type schedule, and the moment I sit down to write down what I need to do that day or the next day my mind goes blank. When I am miles away from pen and paper I have floods of ideas and plans. By the time I get to a piece of paper it all evaporates. I feel like that guy in Memento, except without all the tatts.

When I start to list all the things that need to be done and allot time for each I start to see where my time isn't going (when it should) and is going (when it shouldn't) I'm really not sure how I'll pull all this off, in terms of time management/organization and I admit to feeling like I am already a few years behind the curve.

Looking over the course listing for the summer I discovered that a) I may not be able to enroll for summer courses at all since they seem to be open only to already matriculated students, and b) one of the most important course I need requires a prerequisite that would mean I could only take the course next spring or summer.

I can't even apply to brewing school until I pass that course, 2014 is already filled and people are already applying for the 2015 class.

I'm trying to keep my cool and my faith in myself. Who knows how things will shake out?

:anxious: