try not to compare your insides to their outsides

[DanaC]

You're right, this is such an important lesson.


I remember some years ago, a friend of mine was having a really tough time with some stuff. I was consoling her - she was very down on herself - and somewhere in the middle of that she said something along the lines of 'it's alright for you ...' and then words to the effect that I had my shit together and knew how to deal with stuff. I remember feeling quite thrown by that because, at the time, I was a fucking mess. I was coming home from work, of an evening, crying into a glass of wine and writing poems about depression. But that's not what other people saw. They, apparently, saw someone who was competant, content, confident and with her shit thoroughly together.

Only if they'd been a dwellar would they have had a clue where I was actually at during that period.


So along with the reminder not to compare our outsides to other people's insides - we need to add a reminder that other people cannot see inside our heads.

Returing to my earlier point about public speaking - knowing that other people can't see your thoughts is very helpful in such situations. You might know you're bricking it, but they don't.