1/22 Extra: Pitney Bowes Ad (~70k)

Okay. So I got my mail today, and what do I have? A statement from my credit union and a mail from Pitney Bowes. Yes, the postage meter assholes. It says, on the envelope:

Time Sensitive Documents For:


*****************************AUTO** 5-DIGIT 22030
David Ham
Hamdavid
XXXX Myroad Dr
Fairfax, VA 22030-2002

Ah. You know, David Ham of Hamdavid, Inc. Great. I think I reg'd a domain under that or something. Whatever.

So I open it up, just for the hell of it. Here's what I'm greeted with (cropped):



Mighty friendly with the carriage returns, eh? Is that supposed to be a fucking poem?

I'd like to show you
the bottom of my foot
up close on your face
but that is "assault".

I'll make it a point to never, ever purchase <b>anything</b> from Pitney Bowes.