Humor...I Need Humor...

busterb · 04-05-2005, 08:12 PM

Wolf, Almost that bad. But it's better last few years. Your DR. has to find a few folks who fit the profile, as to who needs training. Today was to test the wig pickers.

Tonchi · 04-06-2005, 05:11 PM

Please forgive me if this one got posted already, but I tried to read all 31 pages of the thread last night and had to give up because my jaw kept falling on the keyboard -

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on a beach and picked it up. Suddenly a female Genie arose from the bottle and
with a smile said: "Master, may I grant you one wish?"

"You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I
don't need any common woman giving me anything", barked Bin Laden.

The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be
returned to that bottle forever."

Osama thought a moment. Then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman, and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with three white women in my bed in the morning; so just grant it and be off with you!"

The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya
Harding, and Hillary Clinton.

His penis was gone, his knee was broken, and he had no health insurance.

God is good.

BrianR · 04-18-2005, 11:41 PM

Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate when he accidentally ran over her favorite dog, a corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a

genie appeared.

You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment", said the genie."As a reward I shall grant you one wish."

"Well" said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog. They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" the Prince asked.

The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. "This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?"

The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana," said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo. "But now I love this woman called Camilla," and he showed the genie the second photo. "You see Camilla

isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?"

The genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, "Let's have a look at that dog again."

Kitsune · 04-19-2005, 09:14 AM

And the best baby name of the year 2003 goes to:
This Lucky Child

Pie · 04-19-2005, 09:25 AM

All I could think was "Was this one of those e-bay baby names?"

Elspode · 04-19-2005, 10:22 AM

No, this is one of those babies named by drug-addled parents (Icy 8...Special K...c'mon).

xoxoxoBruce · 04-19-2005, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsune

And the best baby name of the year 2003 goes to:
This Lucky Child

That is so sad.

04-05-2005, 08:12 PM	#1
busterb NSABFD Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: MS. usa Posts: 3,908	Wolf, Almost that bad. But it's better last few years. Your DR. has to find a few folks who fit the profile, as to who needs training. Today was to test the wig pickers. __________________ I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch. Last edited by busterb; 04-05-2005 at 08:14 PM. Reason: Add

04-06-2005, 05:11 PM	#2
Tonchi Victim of gravity Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Hiding in plain sight Posts: 1,412	Please forgive me if this one got posted already, but I tried to read all 31 pages of the thread last night and had to give up because my jaw kept falling on the keyboard - While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on a beach and picked it up. Suddenly a female Genie arose from the bottle and with a smile said: "Master, may I grant you one wish?" "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything", barked Bin Laden. The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever." Osama thought a moment. Then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman, and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with three white women in my bed in the morning; so just grant it and be off with you!" The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared. The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His penis was gone, his knee was broken, and he had no health insurance. God is good. __________________ Everything you've ever heard about Fresno is true.

04-18-2005, 11:41 PM	#3
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate when he accidentally ran over her favorite dog, a corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a genie appeared. You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment", said the genie."As a reward I shall grant you one wish." "Well" said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog. They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" the Prince asked. The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. "This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?" The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana," said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo. "But now I love this woman called Camilla," and he showed the genie the second photo. "You see Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?" The genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, "Let's have a look at that dog again." __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous Last edited by BrianR; 04-18-2005 at 11:42 PM. Reason: fix typo

04-19-2005, 09:25 AM	#5
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	All I could think was "Was this one of those e-bay baby names?" __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

04-19-2005, 10:22 AM	#6
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	No, this is one of those babies named by drug-addled parents (Icy 8...Special K...c'mon). __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

04-19-2005, 09:14 AM	#4
Kitsune still eats dirt Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 3,031	And the best baby name of the year 2003 goes to: This Lucky Child

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