The Sex Thread - Page 77

Pooka · 08-10-2010, 06:13 PM

How in the hell did I not know about this thread...

BigV · 08-10-2010, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pooka

How in the hell did I not know about this thread...

You're welcome!!

HungLikeJesus · 08-10-2010, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pooka

How in the hell did I not know about this thread...

Now you have to go back and read it from the beginning, like I did two years ago.

BigV · 08-12-2010, 09:48 AM

from here:

Quote:

oh, also—iPhone users have more sex.

File this under "icebreakers, MacWorld '11". Finally, statistical proof that iPhone users aren't just getting fucked by Apple: [see below]

The chart pretty much speaks for itself; I'll just say that the numbers for all three brands are for 30 year-olds, so it's not a matter of older, more experienced people preferring one phone to another. We found this data as part of our general camera-efficacy analysis: we crossed all kinds of user behaviors with the camera models and found we had data on the number of sexual partners for 9,785 people with smart phones. We dropped what we found into Excel, and voila. Here's the plot by age:[see further below]

Just so you know, the names and the actual photos are removed when we do this kind of research; we just see the stats in aggregate. Everything is anonymized. Now let's leave brands and gadgets aside and look at how purely photographic phenomena can affect your precious face.

I have a Blackberry 8310 which has smooth curves and a very effective silent alert mode... wait. That didn't come out right.

I have dated a number of women lately and all of them have phones, some smarter than others. Most recently my Blackberry got plugged into the lady's Android. It's a very good fit. I'm trying to think of which of them had iPhones, and two come to mind. The dates were pleasant enough, but they're incrementing their statistics on someone else's motile plan, not mine. Verrrry sexy women though. For sure.

More to come later.

Spexxvet · 08-12-2010, 10:20 AM

Big V, you are dating?

BigV · 08-12-2010, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Big V, you are dating?

That depends, Spexxie... are you asking me out?

Spexxvet · 08-12-2010, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV

That depends, Spexxie... are you asking me out?

Candle light dinner, a little wine, maybe see La Cage or Village People .... nothing special.

Shawnee123 · 08-12-2010, 10:36 AM

thnort

BigV · 08-12-2010, 11:08 AM

It's a date!

Actually, I haven't had any actual candlelit dinners yet. There have been dinners, and then candles later. But that's another post in this thread altogether.

Juniper · 08-12-2010, 11:55 AM

That explains why my Blackberry caught a virus.

Har, har, har.

Actually I don't know that it's a virus, it's just broken. AT&T is sending me a new one and I hope it gets here real soon.

monster · 08-12-2010, 02:09 PM

@ Juni

Clodfobble · 08-12-2010, 02:59 PM

Hey, sweet! According to that chart, I should own an iPhone. So who's gonna buy me one?

kerosene · 08-12-2010, 03:14 PM

I knew I picked the wrong phone. Dangit!

Gravdigr · 09-24-2010, 03:22 PM

So, if you'll recall, I was relating what we'll refer to as The Re-awakening of Gravdigr...

On the night in question (Oh What a Night), during the preliminaries, I was, shall we say, having an intense and deeply stimulating conversation with 'a little man in a boat'. This was not a short chat folks. I'd been wanting to have this particular conversation for like twelve-fifteen YEARS. Anyway, during the conversation, whenever she 'neared the top of the mountain', I would not let her actually reach the top of said mountain. I would stop 'talking', and go back to the slooooow circular rub. I lost count how many times this happened. When, finally, I let her get to the mountaintop (I call this "Mountaintop Removal Mining") she says "Oh, he's not gonna stop!!" I liked that.

Now, I told you that, to tell you this:

Last night, she stops in for a visit. After we sent mom-and-popdigr to their room, she climbs onto my lap and proceeds to give me the mother of all lapdances. People, I have never been this turned on when everyone involved had their clothes on. What was, at first, unconcealable stirrings, soon turned into a fully engorged, blue-veined throbber. I'm wearing thin cotton shorts, so there's no hiding anything. She reaches up the leg of my shorts, takes matters into hand and says "Looks like you're ready!"

And then she left.

Pico and ME · 09-24-2010, 03:59 PM

You write sexy very well Gravedigr..

08-12-2010, 10:20 AM	#5
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Big V, you are dating? __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

08-12-2010, 10:36 AM	#8
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	thnort __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

08-12-2010, 11:08 AM	#9
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	It's a date! Actually, I haven't had any actual candlelit dinners yet. There have been dinners, and then candles later. But that's another post in this thread altogether. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

08-12-2010, 02:09 PM	#11
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	@ Juni __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

08-12-2010, 02:59 PM	#12
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Hey, sweet! According to that chart, I should own an iPhone. So who's gonna buy me one? __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

08-10-2010, 06:13 PM	#1
Pooka Your Invisible Rabbit Friend Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Betwixt and Between Posts: 528	How in the hell did I not know about this thread...

08-12-2010, 11:55 AM	#10
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	That explains why my Blackberry caught a virus. Har, har, har. Actually I don't know that it's a virus, it's just broken. AT&T is sending me a new one and I hope it gets here real soon.

08-12-2010, 03:14 PM	#13
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	I knew I picked the wrong phone. Dangit!

09-24-2010, 03:22 PM	#14
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Payback Is A Bitch! So, if you'll recall, I was relating what we'll refer to as The Re-awakening of Gravdigr... On the night in question (Oh What a Night), during the preliminaries, I was, shall we say, having an intense and deeply stimulating conversation with 'a little man in a boat'. This was not a short chat folks. I'd been wanting to have this particular conversation for like twelve-fifteen YEARS. Anyway, during the conversation, whenever she 'neared the top of the mountain', I would not let her actually reach the top of said mountain. I would stop 'talking', and go back to the slooooow circular rub. I lost count how many times this happened. When, finally, I let her get to the mountaintop (I call this "Mountaintop Removal Mining") she says "Oh, he's not gonna stop!!" I liked that. Now, I told you that, to tell you this: Last night, she stops in for a visit. After we sent mom-and-popdigr to their room, she climbs onto my lap and proceeds to give me the mother of all lapdances. People, I have never been this turned on when everyone involved had their clothes on. What was, at first, unconcealable stirrings, soon turned into a fully engorged, blue-veined throbber. I'm wearing thin cotton shorts, so there's no hiding anything. She reaches up the leg of my shorts, takes matters into hand and says "Looks like you're ready!" And then she left. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

09-24-2010, 03:59 PM	#15
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	You write sexy very well Gravedigr..

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