The Latest in Childrearing Accessories

wolf · 08-16-2005, 02:59 AM

In an unsuccessful attempt to locate information regarding baby-sized body armor, I ran across one of those priceless internet goofs.

Proofreading of website catalog ads is just as important as print ads, but for some reason it's the first thing that's skimped on ...

Babies, while particularly tender, do tend to be fatty.

link to the original site

Clodfobble · 08-16-2005, 08:23 AM

So did you ever find your baby-sized armor?

Queen of the Ryche · 08-17-2005, 09:26 AM

[quote=wolf]

Babies, while particularly tender, do tend to be fatty.

QUOTE]
I prefer mine with a can of farva beans and a nice chianti........

wolf · 08-17-2005, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

So did you ever find your baby-sized armor?

Not yet.

Apparently baby body armor is called "mom".

Moms, while tough, do not have the resiliance or ballistic qualities of Kevlar™.

Second Chance and Point Blank both make K-9 body armor, and advertise "custom sizing," so I suppose you could special order some.

I have found some infant gas masks, in case you've been looking for them, though.

Which makes me very sad.

Queen of the Ryche · 08-17-2005, 12:05 PM

Did you check out the baby's big brother? He seems to rather enjoy his mask...http://www.spyzone.com/ProductDetail...=7&category=24

be-bop · 08-25-2005, 06:54 PM

My kinda parents,nearly wet myself when I saw this

http://media,putfile.com/Badparents

wolf · 08-26-2005, 01:15 AM

Methinks you need a period where that comma is located.

That is very, very funny.

I have forwarded the link as a suggestion to a friend who has two girls.

Should work very nicely for slumber parties.

Queen of the Ryche · 08-26-2005, 09:49 AM

Linky no worky?

wolf · 08-26-2005, 10:49 AM

be-bop mistyped it. This one works

itsjulie · 09-19-2005, 05:49 AM

Wolf, I have to ask why were you looking for baby body armor?

wolf · 09-19-2005, 10:16 AM

Wouldn't you?

Actually, there was a thread on another board I go to about "Urban Baby Gear" in which a mom-to-be was asking what she should buy as a first-time city mom.

It seemed the obvious.

itsjulie · 09-20-2005, 06:10 AM

Body armor? No, it wouldn't be the first thing I think about. Although, thinking back, my son was always a crazy kid - he is 13 and has broken his collar bone twice, had stitches, broke his nose, broke his thumb, not to mention the numerous eggs he has had on his head. You could see I am quite used to the emergency room routine.

But, to get back to this armor thing. Really? So you would put this on your child as he plays? Do you have a picture?

wolf · 09-20-2005, 10:32 AM

No pictures. As sensible a product as this is (and one which would have great marketability in warzones, Israel, and Compton), nobody seems to make it.

A couple of the body armor manufacturers do custom work (specifically tailoring a vest to your K-9 partner, for example), so one theoretically COULD purchase body armor for a baby or small child. You could always lay an adult vest over the stroller, I suppose, but the weight of a vest might be damaging to a baby. A bullet resistant baby enclosure might be a more likely option.

itsjulie · 09-20-2005, 04:47 PM

Sounds like you have a business plan, wolf!

wolf · 09-21-2005, 12:24 AM

But no backers.

08-16-2005, 02:59 AM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	The Latest in Childrearing Accessories In an unsuccessful attempt to locate information regarding baby-sized body armor, I ran across one of those priceless internet goofs. Proofreading of website catalog ads is just as important as print ads, but for some reason it's the first thing that's skimped on ... Babies, while particularly tender, do tend to be fatty. link to the original site __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis Last edited by wolf; 08-16-2005 at 03:06 AM.

08-17-2005, 09:26 AM	#3
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	[quote=wolf] Babies, while particularly tender, do tend to be fatty. QUOTE] I prefer mine with a can of farva beans and a nice chianti........ __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

08-17-2005, 12:05 PM	#5
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	Did you check out the baby's big brother? He seems to rather enjoy his mask...http://www.spyzone.com/ProductDetail...=7&category=24 __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

08-25-2005, 06:54 PM	#6
be-bop Operations Operative Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: scotland/uk Posts: 664	Childrearing etc My kinda parents,nearly wet myself when I saw this http://media,putfile.com/Badparents Last edited by be-bop; 08-25-2005 at 06:56 PM.

08-26-2005, 01:15 AM	#7
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Methinks you need a period where that comma is located. That is very, very funny. I have forwarded the link as a suggestion to a friend who has two girls. Should work very nicely for slumber parties. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis Last edited by wolf; 08-26-2005 at 01:18 AM.

08-16-2005, 08:23 AM	#2
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	So did you ever find your baby-sized armor?

08-26-2005, 09:49 AM	#8
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	Linky no worky? __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

08-26-2005, 10:49 AM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	be-bop mistyped it. This one works __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-19-2005, 05:49 AM	#10
itsjulie Vice-President of Resentment Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 190	Wolf, I have to ask why were you looking for baby body armor? __________________ I like to know stuff!

09-19-2005, 10:16 AM	#11
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Wouldn't you? Actually, there was a thread on another board I go to about "Urban Baby Gear" in which a mom-to-be was asking what she should buy as a first-time city mom. It seemed the obvious. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-20-2005, 06:10 AM	#12
itsjulie Vice-President of Resentment Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 190	Body armor? No, it wouldn't be the first thing I think about. Although, thinking back, my son was always a crazy kid - he is 13 and has broken his collar bone twice, had stitches, broke his nose, broke his thumb, not to mention the numerous eggs he has had on his head. You could see I am quite used to the emergency room routine. But, to get back to this armor thing. Really? So you would put this on your child as he plays? Do you have a picture? __________________ I like to know stuff!

09-20-2005, 10:32 AM	#13
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	No pictures. As sensible a product as this is (and one which would have great marketability in warzones, Israel, and Compton), nobody seems to make it. A couple of the body armor manufacturers do custom work (specifically tailoring a vest to your K-9 partner, for example), so one theoretically COULD purchase body armor for a baby or small child. You could always lay an adult vest over the stroller, I suppose, but the weight of a vest might be damaging to a baby. A bullet resistant baby enclosure might be a more likely option. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-20-2005, 04:47 PM	#14
itsjulie Vice-President of Resentment Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 190	Sounds like you have a business plan, wolf! __________________ I like to know stuff!

09-21-2005, 12:24 AM	#15
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	But no backers. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

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