I want to die

[lookout123]

I've been there, done that, and I have the t-shirt. If you've read my divorce (filed under Merry F'in Chrismas) story then you know some of what I went through a year or so ago. All I can say is that there is no easy way to let go. But there will be a moment in the coming days when you will stop and say "hey, i feel pretty good". And then that will pass and you'll feel horrible again. Then another bright shining moment will come and it will last longer. After a little while you will wake up to realize that although there are still rough patches, you actually feel alive again. That is when you are turning the corner. Then you'll find yourself noticing how much happier you are now that you don't have to deal with "A" that the ex used to say or do. You will find more and more of that until one day, a day you can't even imagine right now - you will wake up and spend the whole day doing whatever it is that you do without really missing that other person. Now it is time to start enjoying life.
I suggest counseling just to help you walk through it, but counselors aren't magicians. The pain won't magically go away. It's like breaking a bone. The pain goes away so gradually that you don't even notice it until one day you realize you are pain free.

Keep getting up every day and living life. Create a new routine. Find a new hobby. Stay busy. It gets better.