I want to die

[Lady Sidhe]

I know I'm kind of late on this, but I'll put my two cents in anyway.

Having gone through depression, up and down, my whole life, I understand those feelings of hopelessness.

I can't say that I know how it feels to want to die so badly that you come thisclose to doing it, but I do know how it feels to want to just go to sleep and never wake up. I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide, in the first place, and too nosy in the second place. I'm positive that if I kill myself, something seriously cool will happen, and I'll miss it. *shrug*

I also understand how marriage problems can kick off depression. It's the closest relationship you have, one that's often, for better or worse (no pun intended), intertwined with your image of yourself, and whether we know, logically, that we shouldn't let it dictate how we feel about ourselves, often we can't help it.

I DO know how bad depression sucks, though. It's something you either make it through or you don't, and no one who hasn't been there can know how empty it feels.

Meds DO help, though, and so does talking it out. Sometimes just having someone to listen is all you need, and sometimes the other person can give you a different perspective.

I was told that I suffer from dysthymia (which means a lifelong low-grade depression--isn't THAT fun?) and, maybe Wolf knows what this is, because I've never heard of it-- Bipolar 2-- which, from what they tell me, means you don't get the highs. It's just lows, and your "manic" phase is just worse depression. They're actually combining meds right now to see what equals happy pills for me *shrug*.

I don't know if you're on meds, but sometimes just one doesn't work, and combining them does the trick.

But whatever you do, don't let yourself get isolated. When the only thing you have to do is think, sometimes your thoughts spiral so far down that you can't get out of them.

--And that's bad, mmmmmkaaay?