annoying sayings

[glatt]

One of the most annoying sayings for me is when I hear anyone telling another person with whom they have conflict to "chill out," "relax," "lighten up," or any variation thereof.

It's most annoying when I can tell the person actually thinks they are giving helpful advice. They are attempting to dictate to another person how to behave, which is always the wrong approach. Nobody wants to be told what to do. Ordering a person to relax will agitate them instead. Also, they are minimizing the feelings of the other person by not acknowledging that what they are feeling might possibly be appropriate. And finally that type of comment usually shows a lack of understanding of the severity of the issue.

If two parties are in conflict, and one party is attempting to calm the other, then acknowledging the feelings of the agitated party is the fastest way to diffuse the situation. Don't have to agree with them to say "I can see that you're mad."

Of course, sometimes people know exactly what they are doing and say "relax" when they hope to wind the other person up even further.