Bouncer Stories

[ZenGum]

I just remembered another one.

After an "incident" bouncers have to fill out an "incident report form". Certain rules apply - the forms come in a sequentially numbered pad, so once you start, you can't destroy it. And if you want to change something, you must cross it out once only, so it is still legible.
There are standard phrases used regularly: "patron refused the request", "patron became threatening". "I feared for my safety so I had to ..." etc etc.

Anyway, after one "incident" a newbie bouncer who wasn't too hot at paperwork made the following statement:

I tell man time to go. He no go. So I punch him in the head.

Well, gotta admire his honesty.