July 31, 2009: Beauty Pageant

xoxoxoBruce · 07-31-2009, 12:17 AM

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
.......

Yes, a beauty

pageant for camels.

Quote:

For nine days the animals paraded before a grandstand—camels of all sorts, the most prestigious being groupings of 35 females—and imperious judges waved away the homelier groups with their dejected owners. As the days passed, the judges rewarded certain standards with dispatch, winnowing a field of some 24,000 contestants.

I wonder if 35 camels is the ideal sized caravan?
But how do you tell a "pretty" camel from an ugly one?

Quote:

But the judges in Abu Dhabi view camels with different eyes, scrutinizing them from nose to tail and back again, evaluating each according to strict criteria. Her ears must be firm. Her back high, her hump large and symmetrical. A rump that's not too big, with just enough room for a saddle. The hair, of course, must shine. A good head is massive. Her nose should have a strong arch in the bridge, sloping toward a bottom lip that hangs down like a bauble. A long neck appeals. As do long legs. And the judges examine the two toes of the feet, looking for what their guidelines call "toe-parting length."

Because so many beauty pageants, in the end, do come down to cleavage.

This is serious business, more for the prestige, bragging rights, than the prizes, which are "luxury sport-utility vehicles—more than 140 Range Rovers, Nissans, Toyotas, all prizes for various winners".

link

casimendocina · 07-31-2009, 12:32 AM

She is beautiful....almost as beautiful as the chocolate brown llama with long eyelashes and the oatmeal radar I met nearly a decade ago in Perth.

avail9988 · 07-31-2009, 02:43 AM

Funny, Wouldnt think they had so much water too splash around.

casimendocina · 07-31-2009, 02:48 AM

It's all about priorities.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-31-2009, 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by avail9988

Funny, Wouldnt think they had so much water too splash around.

One of the finalists paid a million bucks for a camel, the other paid two million for three. They can afford to have water flown in from anywhere.

Welcome to the Cellar, avail9988.

capnhowdy · 07-31-2009, 06:32 AM

What a difficult decision. They are all so absolutely stunning. Kinda like choosing your cleanest dirty shirt.

"Wow! Just look at the hump on that contestant. Back to you, Bob."

spudcon · 07-31-2009, 07:35 AM

That first one has a big hairy mole on her hump. I once knew a girl who... uh, never mind.

Sheldonrs · 07-31-2009, 08:36 AM

I wonder how many of them have had hump jobs.

dacliff · 07-31-2009, 09:02 AM

Kinda like a Turducken:

<a href="http://www.recipezaar.com/Whole-Stuffed-Camel-67495">Whole Stuffed Camel</a>

birdclaw · 07-31-2009, 09:10 AM

Didn't someone make a song about this? "My lovely lady humps"?

newtimer · 07-31-2009, 10:17 AM

"...Her back high...rump that's not too big...The hair, of course, must shine...good head is massive. Her nose should have a strong arch in the bridge, sloping toward a bottom lip...A long neck appeals. As do long legs. And the judges examine the two toes of the feet..."

Before we judge their culture too harshly, keep in mind those are the same criteria used to judge the Miss Universe pageants. All the way from the shiny hair to the camel toe.

Sheldonrs · 07-31-2009, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtimer

"...Her back high...rump that's not too big...The hair, of course, must shine...good head is massive. Her nose should have a strong arch in the bridge, sloping toward a bottom lip...A long neck appeals. As do long legs. And the judges examine the two toes of the feet..."

Before we judge their culture too harshly, keep in mind those are the same criteria used to judge the Miss Universe pageants. All the way from the shiny hair to the camel toe.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

dmg1969 · 07-31-2009, 11:30 AM

I like big humps and I can not lie.
All you other sheiks can't deny
When a ungulate walks in with an itty-bitty neck
And a bumpy thing in your face
You get sprung!

Knight f3 · 07-31-2009, 01:37 PM

When the contestants come out wearing their bikinis, we need a guy to come out and hose them down.
:p

Gravdigr · 07-31-2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtimer

All the way from the shiny hair to the camel toe.

Yep, I was waiting for the camel toe I was...

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmg1969

I like big humps and I can not lie.
All you other sheiks can't deny
When a ungulate walks in with an itty-bitty neck
And a bumpy thing in your face
You get sprung!

THAT was inspired (and inspiring)!!
I wonder who does that rap, 'Sir Spits A Lot'?

07-31-2009, 06:32 AM	#6
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	What a difficult decision. They are all so absolutely stunning. Kinda like choosing your cleanest dirty shirt. "Wow! Just look at the hump on that contestant. Back to you, Bob." __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

07-31-2009, 07:35 AM	#7
spudcon Beware of potatoes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA Posts: 2,078	That first one has a big hairy mole on her hump. I once knew a girl who... uh, never mind. __________________ "I believe that being despised by the despicable is as good as being admired by the admirable."

07-31-2009, 08:36 AM	#8
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	I wonder how many of them have had hump jobs. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

07-31-2009, 09:10 AM	#10
birdclaw putting the "g" in flight Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 145	Didn't someone make a song about this? "My lovely lady humps"? __________________ “The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.”

07-31-2009, 11:30 AM	#13
dmg1969 I got nothing Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central PA Posts: 486	I like big humps and I can not lie. All you other sheiks can't deny When a ungulate walks in with an itty-bitty neck And a bumpy thing in your face You get sprung! __________________ Void where prohibited. Your results may vary. Not intended for resale. Do not remove tag. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

07-31-2009, 12:32 AM	#2
casimendocina Professor Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,622	She is beautiful....almost as beautiful as the chocolate brown llama with long eyelashes and the oatmeal radar I met nearly a decade ago in Perth.

07-31-2009, 02:43 AM	#3
avail9988 Person Who Has Posted Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2	Funny, Wouldnt think they had so much water too splash around.

07-31-2009, 02:48 AM	#4
casimendocina Professor Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,622	It's all about priorities.

07-31-2009, 09:02 AM	#9
dacliff Confounded Conjuror Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 33	Kinda like a Turducken: <a href="http://www.recipezaar.com/Whole-Stuffed-Camel-67495">Whole Stuffed Camel</a>

07-31-2009, 10:17 AM	#11
newtimer Operations Operative Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 479	"...Her back high...rump that's not too big...The hair, of course, must shine...good head is massive. Her nose should have a strong arch in the bridge, sloping toward a bottom lip...A long neck appeals. As do long legs. And the judges examine the two toes of the feet..." Before we judge their culture too harshly, keep in mind those are the same criteria used to judge the Miss Universe pageants. All the way from the shiny hair to the camel toe.

07-31-2009, 01:37 PM	#14
Knight f3 Alphabetarian Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 12	That's what the miss universe pageant needs! When the contestants come out wearing their bikinis, we need a guy to come out and hose them down. :p

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