Generation swap

[Sundae]

Ah chick.
The trade off between what speaking, thinking loved ones want, and what they can really cope with.
Damned hard.

When Mum retired they "put" Grandad in a home for two weeks while they went on holiday. Sounds awful, but it was sort of a trial run, with his full consent - they knew he was sinking and wanted to see if he would be happy. His health was good enough that his happiness was the main issue.

Mum wasn't trying to off-load him or anything awful like that, but she thought if he enjoyed it (as his sisters Emma and Anne do) he could have a better quality of life, especially if his health deteriorated.

He hated it. He said it was full of old people and he didn't want to be around them.

Now Mum had checked it - it was clean (NHS, not a given). There were activities. The schedule was what Grandad kept mostly. Similar food to wahst he eats just without him having to heat it or do the washing up. Company.

Nope. Hated it, hated it, hated it. Like a child gone to boarding school. Had it been Claridges I suspect he would have reacted the same.

She hasn't dared raise it since.

Old people hate change. Not being mean, but they have in every aspect I've met them in.
And they don't sometimes get what's good for them.
To balance this, neither do teenagers
You can only do what you think best. What you can sleep with at night. And if you do it with love then whatever happens, you should sleep peacefully.

Like Wolf, you're a great daughter doing a tough job.
Much love.