Massive earthquake rocks the US!

[Undertoad]

SURVIVAL PROTIPS

A good 75 pounds of fat, stored on your body, will help get you through those periods of no available food.

During a disaster, your mobile phone network may not work and your phone's battery will eventually drain. Be sure to keep a printed copy of your contacts so you can manually enter them into a new phone.

In some areas, potable water falls from the sky as rain. Be sure to stock conical items, such as megaphones, so you can collect it easily.

Out of ammunition? Remember that sex, or the withholding of it, can be used as a weapon. If that doesn't work, try passive aggressive behavior, or the use of emotionally charged insults.

You don't have to run faster than the bears, just faster than your friends. As a part of your disaster preparation plans, make friends with a lot of gimpy people.

Tortillas are a great emergency pantry food and last a long time, but be sure to stock salsa or they will be boring.

If civil society fails, you will be able to drive at any speed on the highways, but driving fast wastes fuel. Your hideaway location will still be there. Slow down, relax and enjoy the drive.

Instead of matches, stock plain old Bic lighters, which are good for thousands of lights and will still work if they get wet and dry out. However, the red ones are considered unlucky. Discard them during preparation.

ATMs will not have any cash, but carbon credits are a valuable world currency that never expires. Plant those trees now!

Younger looters taste better. Older ones are tough and stringy.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

SURVIVAL PROTIPS

A good 75 pounds of fat, stored on your body, will help get you through those periods of no available food.

During a disaster, your mobile phone network may not work and your phone's battery will eventually drain. Be sure to keep a printed copy of your contacts so you can manually enter them into a new phone.

In some areas, potable water falls from the sky as rain. Be sure to stock conical items, such as megaphones, so you can collect it easily.

Out of ammunition? Remember that sex, or the withholding of it, can be used as a weapon. If that doesn't work, try passive aggressive behavior, or the use of emotionally charged insults.

You don't have to run faster than the bears, just faster than your friends. As a part of your disaster preparation plans, make friends with a lot of gimpy people.

Tortillas are a great emergency pantry food and last a long time, but be sure to stock salsa or they will be boring.

If civil society fails, you will be able to drive at any speed on the highways, but driving fast wastes fuel. Your hideaway location will still be there. Slow down, relax and enjoy the drive.

Instead of matches, stock plain old Bic lighters, which are good for thousands of lights and will still work if they get wet and dry out. However, the red ones are considered unlucky. Discard them during preparation.

ATMs will not have any cash, but carbon credits are a valuable world currency that never expires. Plant those trees now!

Younger looters taste better. Older ones are tough and stringy.

Beautiful!

I've been thinking about our water situation. A deep well hand pump might be in order since even a short hike for water is a pain.

[jinx]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

SURVIVAL PROTIPS

You don't have to run faster than the bears, just faster than your friends. As a part of your disaster preparation plans, make friends with a lot of gimpy people.

Bears always go for the people carrying 75lbs of extra fat on them and smell like tortillas...

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by jinx

Bears always go for the people carrying 75lbs of extra fat on them and smell like tortillas...

oh shit. i lolled. do tacos smell like tortillas?