My kid is getting shafted

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 08:54 PM

This is a long story and we still don't have it all straight, so this may take several posts and maybe even a few days to tell the story, but I'm so pissed I need to shout about it, somewhere, preferably where intelligent, realistic, non knee-jerk people are, and here is the only such place I know where I won't encounter people who may end up being involved IRL, because this is far from over, much as I wish it was.

I originally started posting under my regular dwellar name because I'm not ashamed about this, but I decided anon was probably a better route just in case... I don't care if you know who I am, I expect it won't be hard to figure out, but please don't use any personal references should you have a comment to make.

Story will start in next post

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 09:18 PM

Our kid -let's call it A- is in elementary school, several years in. Way back when.... in KG.... another kid (B) who gets off on trouble -specifically other people being in it was identified. B is smart -can find anyone's buttons -kid or adult. B soon realised that A was (a) short tempered and (b) naive in the interpersonal relationship field. Spent the year alternating between (a) picking on A until A exploded in anger and tears and running away (b) befriending A and persuading A to do things that would get A into trouble and then telling on A.....

We asked for them to be separated in the next grade and they were. Still played on the same soccer team, still had the same issues going on, but only a few hours a week is more maneagable.

But later, back together in class, A was told to stay away from B, but B can't leave A alone and it's like a moth to a flame.

So on Friday, B started beating the shit out of a kif for no apparent reason, "allegedly" somehow persuaded A to hold him and A admits to also hitting kid (let call them C) at some point, says not sure how or why that happened. This is lunch recess. lunch supervisor comes over, sees B kicking and hitting C, A (our kid) is not in the picture. writes a report to that effect

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 09:34 PM

So everyone around is hauled into the office one by one.

B is known for violence and lying and general craftiness and two-facedness, A is not (although A lies like nobody's business, but is not known for it, yet....).

B says "A just started beating on this kid and i was trying to pull A off" lunch supervisor's Incident Report said B was seen kicking the crap out of C. And does not mention A at all

A says, I wasn't involved. And then, well I was but i didn't mean to be. and then it gets fuzzy, and apparently A eventually admits to hitting C. C ended up with a bloody nose.

but B never changes his story, even though the principal says "I don't believe you" and the incident report only mentions B kicking and hitting C and doesn't mention A at all (how can B hurting C ever be interpreted as B pulling A off C?)

Anyway, apparently, eventually, it is decided that the closest to the truth that can be ascertained is that A hit C in an unprovoked attack.

WTF?

But I was cornered by the principal on Friday afternoon and told that this had happened, A had admitted guilt and because it was out of character the punishment would just be an in-school suspension on Monday.

A little blindsided to say the least, principal offers to discuss firther on Mon if we want

We do. We go in, expecting to find at least both A and B on the in-school suspension ...but no, just A. -we find that out as we walk into school and are nearly bowled over by B running away from a kid b just pushed.

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 09:43 PM

basically, Principal admits no idea what really happened, but this is the closest to the truth most kid witnesses are willing to agree on.

We say "out of character for A" and totally in character for B. principal agrees. But A has admitted guilt. So guilty. Here's the punishment. B did not admit guilt, no proof, no punishment. Of course principal couldn't actually discuss B with us directly, but I'm an involved parent whose "contribution to the school" the principal values, so I am sometimes privy to hints and snippets and know the "i can't officially discuss this with you but here's what happened" codes. A's other parent was horrified when we got outside and realized that what the principal had said meant that B was not getting punished because he didn't admit guilt.

footfootfoot · 10-20-2010, 09:43 PM

Does C have anything to say about the incident?
WTF is wrong with B's parents?
WTF is wrong with the school?
That kind of shit really sucks for everyone involved. Sorry, man you don't deserve that. But your kid has more integrity than the other kid and the administration. He deserves an award for being a stand up kid for copping to his involvement.

Oh and the other kid deserves a kick in the nuts from me.

OR, see sig line below:

Pico and ME · 10-20-2010, 09:48 PM

Perhaps this will be a lesson to your child that messing with 'B" ends up being really bad for him and he will finally decide to stay away from that kid.

footfootfoot · 10-20-2010, 09:50 PM

I think B is kind of stalking A. Maybe you should get a restraining order against B and then when he violates it, you can have him deported to another school district.

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 09:53 PM

We asked for a copy of the incident report (I already knew what it said, but unofficially).

I went into school today and was spotted by the lunch supervisor who filed the report. She came over and said she was shocked that A had been punished for the incident (in-school suspension is a "permanent record" thing) and horrified that B had not. She said she's been in to see both A&B's class teacher and the principal to say as much.

I talked to other teachers at the school (it's a small school, everyone knows everyone)

Everyone thinks A has been shafted.

principal refused to give a copy of the report because it names other children. but sent a copy of the report about A which is considered the truth and said (and i copy verbatim)

Quote:

As I shared on Monday, it was difficult to tease out exactly who did what to whom in exactly what order, and the story did change over the course of the discussion with the kids. I am more than willing to imagine that what I wound up with is not exactly correct. It is something that in the end all 8 kids I interviewed agreed on.

At this point the lightbulb went on and I can hear b saying "let's all tell Principal that A did it..." and A -bless it's little heart- was just to horrified and confused about what happened to deny it -and the principal did agree that A was horrified and confused and very upset about it all.......

And yet still shafted A.

Don't you think?

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Does C have anything to say about the incident?
WTF is wrong with B's parents?
WTF is wrong with the school?
That kind of shit really sucks for everyone involved. Sorry, man you don't deserve that. But your kid has more integrity than the other kid and the administration. He deserves an award for being a stand up kid for copping to his involvement.

Oh and the other kid deserves a kick in the nuts from me.

OR, see sig line below:

C -as far as I know- is a pretty nice kid, but spacey. I've had C in one of my classes. But from the sound of what was going on, I'd doubt C knew who was doing what. althoug i did learn today that b and C maybe have a little history.

B is totally a little craptard, i'd be happy if b fell off the planet and i don't say that lightly about kids. B'sparents... who ever sees them? totally uninvolved. maybe divorced recently, hard to tell, they don't socailize at all.

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I think B is kind of stalking A. Maybe you should get a restraining order against B and then when he violates it, you can have him deported to another school district.

That's what I dream about......

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pico and ME

Perhaps this will be a lesson to your child that messing with 'B" ends up being really bad for him and he will finally decide to stay away from that kid.

we can only hope.... but moth to a flame...... A is smarter than your average high-schooler, but youngest in class and emotionally/socially immature for the age.

B is average academically, but 90yo in interpersonal/empathetic wisdom. But B chooses the dark side on which to use the force.....

anonymous · 10-20-2010, 10:08 PM

Doesn't it suck, though?

And meanwhile A learns: be honest, own up, take responsibility and get publicly humiliated. Lie through your teeth and run free.....

Way to go, school.

This is NOT over, we just don't exactly know what to do next. Especially as most of the info we have about what really happened is "unofficial" and some of our "inside sources" are teachers whose jobs will be at risk if we reveal them. We love the school and the teachers, it's the principal who sucks. But it's sort of a case of better the devil you know. at least until now.....

monster · 10-20-2010, 10:15 PM

speechless..... because that's probably the safest way to be.....

xoxoxoBruce · 10-20-2010, 10:48 PM

Hire D and E, to find B after school, and fuck him up.
Hire Guido and Vinnie, to find the Principal after school, and fuck him up.

zippyt · 10-20-2010, 10:56 PM

I gotz the pipe we used last time !!!

Seriously though , this is a Lesson for the Kid in question ,
dont hang with B he gets you in trouble .
take yer lumps for telling the truth ,
There are consequences for yer actions ,
Act right and this shit wont happen

10-20-2010, 08:54 PM	#1
anonymous Operations Operative Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: in hiding Posts: 578	My kid is getting shafted This is a long story and we still don't have it all straight, so this may take several posts and maybe even a few days to tell the story, but I'm so pissed I need to shout about it, somewhere, preferably where intelligent, realistic, non knee-jerk people are, and here is the only such place I know where I won't encounter people who may end up being involved IRL, because this is far from over, much as I wish it was. I originally started posting under my regular dwellar name because I'm not ashamed about this, but I decided anon was probably a better route just in case... I don't care if you know who I am, I expect it won't be hard to figure out, but please don't use any personal references should you have a comment to make. Story will start in next post

10-20-2010, 09:43 PM	#5
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Does C have anything to say about the incident? WTF is wrong with B's parents? WTF is wrong with the school? That kind of shit really sucks for everyone involved. Sorry, man you don't deserve that. But your kid has more integrity than the other kid and the administration. He deserves an award for being a stand up kid for copping to his involvement. Oh and the other kid deserves a kick in the nuts from me. OR, see sig line below: __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-20-2010, 09:50 PM	#7
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I think B is kind of stalking A. Maybe you should get a restraining order against B and then when he violates it, you can have him deported to another school district. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-20-2010, 10:15 PM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	speechless..... because that's probably the safest way to be..... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-20-2010, 10:48 PM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Hire D and E, to find B after school, and fuck him up. Hire Guido and Vinnie, to find the Principal after school, and fuck him up. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-20-2010, 09:18 PM	#2
anonymous Operations Operative Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: in hiding Posts: 578	Our kid -let's call it A- is in elementary school, several years in. Way back when.... in KG.... another kid (B) who gets off on trouble -specifically other people being in it was identified. B is smart -can find anyone's buttons -kid or adult. B soon realised that A was (a) short tempered and (b) naive in the interpersonal relationship field. Spent the year alternating between (a) picking on A until A exploded in anger and tears and running away (b) befriending A and persuading A to do things that would get A into trouble and then telling on A..... We asked for them to be separated in the next grade and they were. Still played on the same soccer team, still had the same issues going on, but only a few hours a week is more maneagable. But later, back together in class, A was told to stay away from B, but B can't leave A alone and it's like a moth to a flame. So on Friday, B started beating the shit out of a kif for no apparent reason, "allegedly" somehow persuaded A to hold him and A admits to also hitting kid (let call them C) at some point, says not sure how or why that happened. This is lunch recess. lunch supervisor comes over, sees B kicking and hitting C, A (our kid) is not in the picture. writes a report to that effect

10-20-2010, 09:34 PM	#3
anonymous Operations Operative Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: in hiding Posts: 578	So everyone around is hauled into the office one by one. B is known for violence and lying and general craftiness and two-facedness, A is not (although A lies like nobody's business, but is not known for it, yet....). B says "A just started beating on this kid and i was trying to pull A off" lunch supervisor's Incident Report said B was seen kicking the crap out of C. And does not mention A at all A says, I wasn't involved. And then, well I was but i didn't mean to be. and then it gets fuzzy, and apparently A eventually admits to hitting C. C ended up with a bloody nose. but B never changes his story, even though the principal says "I don't believe you" and the incident report only mentions B kicking and hitting C and doesn't mention A at all (how can B hurting C ever be interpreted as B pulling A off C?) Anyway, apparently, eventually, it is decided that the closest to the truth that can be ascertained is that A hit C in an unprovoked attack. WTF? But I was cornered by the principal on Friday afternoon and told that this had happened, A had admitted guilt and because it was out of character the punishment would just be an in-school suspension on Monday. A little blindsided to say the least, principal offers to discuss firther on Mon if we want We do. We go in, expecting to find at least both A and B on the in-school suspension ...but no, just A. -we find that out as we walk into school and are nearly bowled over by B running away from a kid b just pushed.

10-20-2010, 09:48 PM	#6
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	Perhaps this will be a lesson to your child that messing with 'B" ends up being really bad for him and he will finally decide to stay away from that kid.

10-20-2010, 10:08 PM	#12
anonymous Operations Operative Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: in hiding Posts: 578	Doesn't it suck, though? And meanwhile A learns: be honest, own up, take responsibility and get publicly humiliated. Lie through your teeth and run free..... Way to go, school. This is NOT over, we just don't exactly know what to do next. Especially as most of the info we have about what really happened is "unofficial" and some of our "inside sources" are teachers whose jobs will be at risk if we reveal them. We love the school and the teachers, it's the principal who sucks. But it's sort of a case of better the devil you know. at least until now.....

10-20-2010, 10:56 PM	#15
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	I gotz the pipe we used last time !!! Seriously though , this is a Lesson for the Kid in question , dont hang with B he gets you in trouble . take yer lumps for telling the truth , There are consequences for yer actions , Act right and this shit wont happen __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

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