here's my song

[Undertoad]

This is good work for a first demo, Stace.

I'm a very harsh judge and I've listenened to about 50 demos in the last couple months.

It has a nice lazy soulfulness, nice for this Sunday morning. The vox have an interesting post-rap inflection. They're a little lost in the mix which is a tendency in home recording. Don't hide yourself, make yourself the spotlight, that's what the listener wants.

The line "smell you" is a wince moment for me because the word "smell" is just not poetic, even in a very blunt song. I'd replace it with... "taste you"? Unless you don't want to be that blunt. "find you" would be utterly poetic as would any number of other verbs. "be you"... imagine using "taste" on the first verse and "test" on the second... or "take" on the first and "make" on the second. That'd be kinda interesting.

For a song nearly 4 minutes, I would change up the rhythm a bit more or use more dynamic range. This holds the listener's attention and broadens the song.

We have talent on board here folks! Good goin'.