Better to lie, or to break trust?

[Riddil]

Nono, I think you guys are being too harsh. Yeah, just being drunk isn't a good excuse at all. But still, it's possible for a situation to roll along and next thing you know you're doing something you never intended.

Anyone remember those old psychological studies from the '50s where they were trying to find out how the Nazi party in Germany could "force" so many people to do heinous acts? They tested "normal" people who went through a series of actions which ended in submitting a man to a supposedly fatal electrical shock. And because of the environment & the coercion these average people went right along with it. Sure, even during the act they didn't *want* to kill anyone and they felt it was wrong... but they still went through with it. And that's murder, I'm just talking about sleeping with someone.

You'd be surprised what you're capable of in the right environment, with the right amount of coercion. The whole process that's leading up to it you're just allowing the person/situation to dictate your actions because each one is just a tiny baby step, and individually really not that bad at all. "What's wrong with some body shots?" And next thing you know you find yourself naked in a hotel room with a bucket of vaseline, 4 midgets and a donkey.

I really believe that anyone could cheat with the right environment. But do I think that's an excuse? Fuck no. If my S.O. came to me sobbing about some "accident" where she cheated on me, I do not care what her excuse is, it's over right then and there. Get the hell out. You should have been smart/loving/loyal enough to not get your ass into that situation in the first place.

Anyhow, I used to totally agree with you guys. Until I started thinking about this argument I always said that if my S.O. ever cheated on me I'd want to know right away. But now, I think that if my S.O. ever cheated on me and it honestly was a one-time thing for her, and she NOW knows how much she completely loves me, wants to stay with me forever, and will never cheat again...

I wouldn't want her to tell me. Because even if I *did* stay with her, (slim chance) I know I'd never trust her again. And it would eat away at me until finally love is dead. So truthfully, I'd rather be in the perfect relationship and have total love and trust... instead of doubts. Ignorance is bliss.

But yeah, if I'm with a person that is a true serial-cheater I'd want to know right away. Walk away as soon as possible.