Taking the kids to the bar

[anonymous]

Some clarifications:

In more progressive states the courts are seeing 50-50 joint custody as being in the best interests of the kids. That is what the situation is here. Yes, school night. Out of the bar by 8:00pm approx. One of the moms has her kids almost all the time (separated recently) Neither is dating or hanging out w/ the musicians, they are all part of a larger social group.
supposedly one mom was drinking NA beer. tow kids were left to play pool, the youngest were at with the parents at a table near the loud music. (It was bluegrass so probably not deafeningly loud, but still indoors and loud)

AFAIK the goal isn't antagonism as one dad at any rate just found out about this recently, though it happened last month.

The moms should know about hearing loss and noise.

At least one mom was consuming alcohol.

The kids were bored to tears, one mom claims she wanted to expose the kids to music, a worthy idea but this is not a music festival and there were no other kids there.

These two moms were likely using this as an excuse to get together and do whatever it is they do when they get together. They are pretty much best buds bonding over broken marriages and alliteration. It seems to me that their priority on this evening was hanging out over responsibilities with the kids.

As for the kind of person who raises these questions in people's minds, I'd say that his initial query was lacking in what turned out to be important details.

I'd think the biggest problem in this scenario is thinking that a bar (any bar, however tony- upscale not subtoad- is an ok place to take kids short of escaping imminent peril.

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by anonymous

... tow kids were left to play pool, ...

Are they any good at it? Were they making money hustling drunks? That would be a game changer.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by anonymous

At least one mom was consuming alcohol.

As opposed to being on somebody's back porch with the kids playing in the yard or the kiddie pool, and both of them drinking alcohol... which happens frequently in every town.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

As opposed to being on somebody's back porch with the kids playing in the yard or the kiddie pool, and both of them drinking alcohol... which happens frequently in every town.

Not sure that is a fair comparison. At a bar you can't control what everyone around you is talking about, pawing each other, slurring and staggering, saying inappropriate things and so on. I don't think it's great for kids to be around drunks either at home or abroad. But if the back proch is anything like a dive bar then CPS should probably pay a visit.

[it]

If you don't mind the nitpicking, since it's something I've researched relatively recently:

Originally Posted by anonymous

In more progressive states the courts are seeing 50-50 joint custody as being in the best interests of the kids.

People often mistake the meaning of "joint custody" to mean 50/50. The most common practice in virtually all states within the US is joint legal custody & primary caregiver physical custody, which usually means it's still around 5 days mom 2 days dad, or even every other week arrangements.

The research on the matter suggests the best interest of the kids is joint physical custody - the one where both parents have 50% of the time with the children (or within the range of 40-60%), who do suffer in well being initially but at later ages are almost on pair in all measurements with children of non divorced parents. Joint legal custody alone provides little to no testable benefits on the child's well being when compared to visitation rights (Both of which have both parents spending more or less the same amount of time with the child).

(I realize all of this is besides the point, which I have little to no opinion about because a bar can mean anything from an almost-stripclub with loud eardrum tearing music and college kids doing belly button shots to a nice family friendly restaurant that also has alcohol... So go on, nothing to see here).