The worst question summary ever...

[it]

I'd hardly consider the current situation "well enough" by any stretch, knowingly not for me, probably not for him, even though with kids "Well enough" is a bar that kind of adapts to wherever they stand, bad situations still ends up sinking in and biting them later down the line.

It could lead to a conflict, but it would be very a short one - there isn't much room for back and forth here, if she'll want to block me she very easily can. But he'll still come out of it knowing things that - depending on what's left of his memory of me - might be very important for him to know <- that is sort of the central question actually, how he'd feel about the emotional message, what it would mean to him.

The alternative is what I originally intended to do in the long term - finish my immigration process and aiding financially, which honestly probably wouldn't do much in regards to her giving a shit but some of it might actually end up improving his life anyway, and then trying to contact him when he's a legal adult, and finding how he feels then... But I get to do that anyway, regardless of this.