Drinking

[xoxoxoBruce]

Don't obsess about where you are and how you got there, concentrate on where you can go, and how.

[be-bop]

I read Sundae’s earworms post and wanted to post what it was like from the other side. I understand the symptoms that having an addiction is not easy to function with, I know, I have had my problems with drugs, but living with an alcoholic in the family is not easy it's complete turmoil.

My Mother is an alcoholic and has been since the late 70's early 80's, she's 79 now and still puts it away like a champion.
It's the lies, the excuses, the drunken rants, how it's always someone else’s fault and never trying to help herself get better, never being able to be trusted at a family get together, the down right fucking embarrassment of always being drunk at the wrong time. And of course the insults aimed to hurt.

I walked away from my Mother over 10 years ago after a major row in which she insulted my wife her grandchildren but mainly me and how useless I was as a son , people have said “It's the drink talking” but hey after that Barney it took me all my control not to strangle the life out of her , so I walked away and have had very minimal contact since.

And I feel so guilty about it, she has missed her two Granddaughters weddings because they would not invite her, she has 4 Great-grandchildren she has never met because neither of my daughters want anything to do with her because of what she has put me through over the years and I'm the one with the guilt trip.

I know when she finally goes I will be completely shattered with guilt but it could have been so different if she had just tried to seek some help even if she had tried and failed it would have changed everything about how people felt about her.

Big hugs to Sundae for her battle with her demons, I know it's hard, but you're trying and all the cellar is rooting for you,please remember that when you are having a bad day/night you are not on your own

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by be-bop

And I feel so guilty about it...

Do NOT feel guilty. Most everyone has a sentimental attachment to "home", where they grew up. But if the water there is poisoned, you sure as hell shouldn't be drinking it, and would be abuse to expose your family to it. Staying away is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.
In case I was vague, Do Not Feel Guilty, now or ever. Sad things turned out this way, but not guilty. Got it?