Corrupted Wish

[DucksNuts]

You get a clue about what closing day completion is, sadly, its one of those "if I tell you I will have kill you" thingo's and now you must be dead

I wish my jeans would stop slipping off my arse.

[Ibby]

Granted, the arse keeps slipping off of your jeans, leaving a massive hole in the rear.

I wish I could find the chords to all the Warren Zevon songs.

[smoothmoniker]

After years of study, practice, ear training, graduate school, and lessons, you finally sit down to analyze your Warren Zevon collection, only to find that you've become an elitist musical prick and no longer care about Warren Zevon.

If it's not Donald Crockett aleatoric mixed-meter, it's not music!

I wish I had a bacon ciabbatta burger in my hand right now.

[wolf]

The resulting arterial plaque fits right into that tiny little space in your aorta where blood was still getting though, just like a key into a keyhole. As you grab your chest your last memory is of the magnificent taste of that burger, and you realize that you would have rather had a double chocolate shake for your last meal.

I wish I had a maid.

[zippyt]

her name is Juaneeta , she cleans like a dream never complaining , untill one day you come home to find that she has cleaned you OUT , every thing even the furniture .


I wish I had a cold beer , right now !!

[Griff]

Juanita brings your beer as well. What goes around comes around Bro.


I wish I didn't get brain freeze from my blender drink.

[zippyt]

Ok no more brain freeze , but you can't seem to rember how to hold a glass , or what a glass is , or what what is as you suddenly have NO brain .



I wish I had DSL

[Griff]

You now have a Doctorate in Scientology Living. Good luck with that.

Now I wish I had another blender drink.

[zippyt]

You do , but its a Bass-o-Matic version !!!


I wish I could post pics on the cellar !!

[DucksNuts]

Wish granted!! You are able to post many a wonderful pic whenever/where ever you deem fit.

Uh oh, your system gets hacked by some clever lil cellarite and your private collection of ...umm...tasteful poses in your partner's clothes gets posted in the WTF thread

[skysidhe]

I wish for something magical.


Good health, love and good sex can feel like a life blessed but I mean something really magical. The last time I experienced magic I smoked peote. That was like....a looooong time ago. * slump* ( I wish for good health) Send me your wishes.

[Spexxvet]

You are magically transformed into a very healthy turtle. As you cross a road, a car crushes you.....splat!

I wish for peace on earth and goodwill for all.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

You are magically transformed into a very healthy turtle. As you cross a road, a car crushes you.....splat!

I wish for peace on earth and goodwill for all.

aww I hate contradictions. You'll be given an assignment in a tropical jungle. There you are to bring good will to the natives. Unfortunate for you the natives lop off your head,boil it to shrink and tie your mouth shut so you can't lie anymore.

...the end ......such a sad story too.

[Ibby]

Granted, but nobody likes a smartass (and who else would make a wish like that?), and so in the spirit of goodwill you are lynched.

I wish I could, somehow, go see the July 3rd, 1973 David Bowie concert at the Hammersmith Odeon. The last show as Ziggy Stardust, ever.

[wolf]

You are so excited at the prospect of seeing the concert that you carefully prepare for just the right level of *high* as Bowie walks onto the stage. However, you calculate based on your youthful tolerance levels, and your adult self sees the entrance, and promptly passes out.

I wish that I had the perfect ham sandwich.