Funny/Embarrassing things they say - Page 13

SteveDallas · 06-01-2007, 12:35 PM

My son's second grade class went on a field trip to Dutch Wonderland this week. Mrs. Dallas went along as a chaperone. Among other things, they saw a play. Two of my son's friends decided they really liked the princess... liked her so much, in fact, that they went up to her and gave her their phone numbers.

(I asked my son if he did too, and he said no. When I asked him why not, he said, "That's just idiotic. I mean, she must be, like, 20!")

smurfalicious · 06-01-2007, 01:51 PM

Not funny, but friggin beautiful...

(as I'm tucking her into bed, age 5)
Mommy?
Yeah?
I know what I want to be when I grow up.
Oh really? What have you decided on this week?
I don't want to be a teacher or a builder. I want to be an artist. Some people are just meant to be something.

Aliantha · 06-04-2007, 05:24 AM

Tonight we were having a bit of a talk after dinner and hubby and I were giving our oldest boy a bit of stick about the number of girlfriends he has had, at which point I stated that he'd changed g/f's more often than he'd changed his underpants. His response to this was, "I've only had 7 g/f's. I've changed my undies 10 times this year."

smurfalicious · 06-05-2007, 01:33 PM

today's gem...

Clodfobble · 07-03-2007, 04:46 PM

My 5-year-old stepson came up out of nowhere today and asked me, "You know that woman, that relative on the syrup bottle?"

Long pause.

"Uh... You mean Aunt Jemima?"
"Yeah!"
"What about her?"
"Why do you think they put her on the bottle?"
"Well, I think maybe they hope people will think she looks like she's a really good cook, so the syrup must be really tasty."

"Oh. My mom says that they chose her because her skin is the color of maple syrup."

...

"Uh... Okay. That's... a strange thing for your mom to think."

Cloud · 07-03-2007, 05:12 PM

"that relative on the syrup bottle"

oh, dear (wipes eyes)

kerosene · 07-03-2007, 11:39 PM

"Mom, do you like apartment living?"
"Well, sure, but I also like living in a house where we have our own yard"
"But, don't you like to share, Mom?"

07-14-2007, 09:28 PM

Every few days, he says, for no reason that we know of:
"I don't need my bwood".
When asked why or what it is about he just looks at you blankly.
It FREAKS my dad out... I LOVE it!!!

kerosene · 07-17-2007, 10:14 AM

Not sure if I already posted this:

Mom: "Jamey, we should go through some of your toys and determine which ones you want to give to needy kids."

Jamey (walking out of his room with his hands on his hips): "Mom, I don't want to give my toys to meaty kids!"

smurfalicious · 07-17-2007, 02:22 PM

God forbid I have five minutes to myself to cook dinner and put away some laundry. I could hear the dull sound of the riding lawnmower outside. Soon that sound is accompanied by others - the sound of Rob's voice... and then the sound of The Girl's. I figured it was the usual conversation between them when they did yardwork together - she's lazy and he has little patience. So I walk to the window of our bedroom on the second floor to see what kind of damage control I'm going to have to render, when look down to see Rob stopped on the mower, and The Girl standing next to him screaming her little head off.

Then I notice the bloody leg.

Approximately 1.29745 nanoseconds later I had leaped across the bedroom, across the house, flew down the stairs, and just as I opened the door, in walked The Girl - crying, hysterical, and with a bloody gash down the side of her leg.

me: "What happened?"

The Girl: "Rohimwfrok"

me: "Huh?"

The Girl: "Rob hit me with a rock"

At this point, I'm thinking WTF, why would he hit her with a rock? Why social services gotta be knocking on my door later???

And then the light bulb went off.

me: "Now this is very, very important, and I need you to think about your answer to my question very carefully. Did Rob hit you with the rock, or did the lawnmower hit you with the rock?"

Rest assured, it was the lawnmower.

BigV · 07-17-2007, 02:58 PM

!!

Is she ok?

smurfalicious · 07-19-2007, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV

!!

Is she ok?

yes, she's fine, thanks for asking. It's hot here, our blood is thin and tends to look worse than it is, I suppose.

theotherguy · 07-17-2007, 05:12 PM

The other night my thelittleguy was sleeping in our bed due to giving up his bed for the night to visiting family. He came downstairs about 15 minutes in and, looking like he is about to cry, says, "Mom, I need a tissue." My wife took him to the restroom and noticed he had blood on his lip. She asked what happened and he just started crying. "I don't know," he said. She called me in and his upper, front gums are bleeding like mad. We keep asking what happened and he kept saying he did not know. So, we decided to go back up to our room to discuss it and see if he will tell us.

Back up in our room, he kept saying he didn't know what happened to every suggestion I threw out. Hit face on headboard? Hit face on nightstand. Then, it hit me. "(Thelittleguy) were you maybe jumping on the bed?" He said, "Well, maybe." "Were you jumping on the bed and fell off?" "Well, maybe." Then, he looks at my wife and says, "One little monkey jumping on the bed. The monkey fell off and bumped his head." He then tells me that, "Maybe I fell off and hit my face on the floor. Maybe."

I cracked up. It seems he was jumping on our bed, in the dark, fell off onto the floor (on his face). He didn't want to get in trouble so he climbed back into the bed (I know this since there was blood on the sheets) and didn't come down until he was really, really in pain. Keep in mind, we are dealing with a 4 yr old here. I am not sure why he was so scared. He doesn't get spanked. He very, very good kid who rarely gets in trouble. I may be in trouble when he becomes a teenager.

kerosene · 07-17-2007, 08:29 PM

Aww!

I think he just really doesn't want to disappoint you. By the fact that he didn't deny jumping on the bed, I would say you are doing a good job. Sounds like it was difficult for him to tell the truth, but he still felt compelled to do so, even though he might have thought he would disappoint you.

theotherguy · 07-18-2007, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by case

Aww!

I think he just really doesn't want to disappoint you. By the fact that he didn't deny jumping on the bed, I would say you are doing a good job. Sounds like it was difficult for him to tell the truth, but he still felt compelled to do so, even though he might have thought he would disappoint you.

I have to admit (I might be biased), but he really is a great kid. He listen well, has his own opinions, and loves humor. He started getting sarcasm at an early age. We knew we were in trouble then.

06-01-2007, 01:51 PM	#2
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	Not funny, but friggin beautiful... (as I'm tucking her into bed, age 5) Mommy? Yeah? I know what I want to be when I grow up. Oh really? What have you decided on this week? I don't want to be a teacher or a builder. I want to be an artist. Some people are just meant to be something. __________________

06-04-2007, 05:24 AM	#3
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Tonight we were having a bit of a talk after dinner and hubby and I were giving our oldest boy a bit of stick about the number of girlfriends he has had, at which point I stated that he'd changed g/f's more often than he'd changed his underpants. His response to this was, "I've only had 7 g/f's. I've changed my undies 10 times this year." __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

06-05-2007, 01:33 PM	#4
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	today's gem... __________________

07-03-2007, 05:12 PM	#6
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	"that relative on the syrup bottle" oh, dear (wipes eyes) __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

07-17-2007, 02:22 PM	#10
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	God forbid I have five minutes to myself to cook dinner and put away some laundry. I could hear the dull sound of the riding lawnmower outside. Soon that sound is accompanied by others - the sound of Rob's voice... and then the sound of The Girl's. I figured it was the usual conversation between them when they did yardwork together - she's lazy and he has little patience. So I walk to the window of our bedroom on the second floor to see what kind of damage control I'm going to have to render, when look down to see Rob stopped on the mower, and The Girl standing next to him screaming her little head off. Then I notice the bloody leg. Approximately 1.29745 nanoseconds later I had leaped across the bedroom, across the house, flew down the stairs, and just as I opened the door, in walked The Girl - crying, hysterical, and with a bloody gash down the side of her leg. me: "What happened?" The Girl: "Rohimwfrok" me: "Huh?" The Girl: "Rob hit me with a rock" At this point, I'm thinking WTF, why would he hit her with a rock? Why social services gotta be knocking on my door later??? And then the light bulb went off. me: "Now this is very, very important, and I need you to think about your answer to my question very carefully. Did Rob hit you with the rock, or did the lawnmower hit you with the rock?" Rest assured, it was the lawnmower. __________________

06-01-2007, 12:35 PM	#1
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	My son's second grade class went on a field trip to Dutch Wonderland this week. Mrs. Dallas went along as a chaperone. Among other things, they saw a play. Two of my son's friends decided they really liked the princess... liked her so much, in fact, that they went up to her and gave her their phone numbers. (I asked my son if he did too, and he said no. When I asked him why not, he said, "That's just idiotic. I mean, she must be, like, 20!")

07-03-2007, 04:46 PM	#5
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	My 5-year-old stepson came up out of nowhere today and asked me, "You know that woman, that relative on the syrup bottle?" Long pause. "Uh... You mean Aunt Jemima?" "Yeah!" "What about her?" "Why do you think they put her on the bottle?" "Well, I think maybe they hope people will think she looks like she's a really good cook, so the syrup must be really tasty." "Oh. My mom says that they chose her because her skin is the color of maple syrup." ... "Uh... Okay. That's... a strange thing for your mom to think."

07-03-2007, 11:39 PM	#7
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	"Mom, do you like apartment living?" "Well, sure, but I also like living in a house where we have our own yard" "But, don't you like to share, Mom?"

07-14-2007, 09:28 PM	#8
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Every few days, he says, for no reason that we know of: "I don't need my bwood". When asked why or what it is about he just looks at you blankly. It FREAKS my dad out... I LOVE it!!!

07-17-2007, 10:14 AM	#9
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	Not sure if I already posted this: Mom: "Jamey, we should go through some of your toys and determine which ones you want to give to needy kids." Jamey (walking out of his room with his hands on his hips): "Mom, I don't want to give my toys to meaty kids!"

07-17-2007, 02:58 PM	#11
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	!! Is she ok? __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

07-17-2007, 05:12 PM	#13
theotherguy no not that other guy, the other one Join Date: May 2007 Location: TN Posts: 640	The other night my thelittleguy was sleeping in our bed due to giving up his bed for the night to visiting family. He came downstairs about 15 minutes in and, looking like he is about to cry, says, "Mom, I need a tissue." My wife took him to the restroom and noticed he had blood on his lip. She asked what happened and he just started crying. "I don't know," he said. She called me in and his upper, front gums are bleeding like mad. We keep asking what happened and he kept saying he did not know. So, we decided to go back up to our room to discuss it and see if he will tell us. Back up in our room, he kept saying he didn't know what happened to every suggestion I threw out. Hit face on headboard? Hit face on nightstand. Then, it hit me. "(Thelittleguy) were you maybe jumping on the bed?" He said, "Well, maybe." "Were you jumping on the bed and fell off?" "Well, maybe." Then, he looks at my wife and says, "One little monkey jumping on the bed. The monkey fell off and bumped his head." He then tells me that, "Maybe I fell off and hit my face on the floor. Maybe." I cracked up. It seems he was jumping on our bed, in the dark, fell off onto the floor (on his face). He didn't want to get in trouble so he climbed back into the bed (I know this since there was blood on the sheets) and didn't come down until he was really, really in pain. Keep in mind, we are dealing with a 4 yr old here. I am not sure why he was so scared. He doesn't get spanked. He very, very good kid who rarely gets in trouble. I may be in trouble when he becomes a teenager. __________________ I should be working.

07-17-2007, 08:29 PM	#14
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	Aww! I think he just really doesn't want to disappoint you. By the fact that he didn't deny jumping on the bed, I would say you are doing a good job. Sounds like it was difficult for him to tell the truth, but he still felt compelled to do so, even though he might have thought he would disappoint you.

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